Good Weekend letters to the editor: May 27

Credit: Instagram/@fionastockerbooks

Just the trick?

I’ve read a few news stories about Ozempic, the drug treatment for Type 2 diabetes that can lead to weight loss as a side effect. But nothing compares with the comprehensive investigation by Amanda Hooton in her feature [May 20], which not only highlights the serious supply-side shortfall of the drug for diabetes sufferers (brought about by selfish people buying up the drug to lose a bit of weight) but other issues like the unknown, long-term effects of this relatively new drug. As Hooton writes, “Ozempic seems to alter your reaction to food, even before you eat it.” In some rare cases, it can also turn into an injectable eating disorder, leading to malnutrition. In the case of this so-called miracle drug, for those using it just to lose a relatively small amount of weight, it may not be worth the risk. That’s quite apart from the moral bankruptcy of buying up stockpiles of the drug just to lose weight when it’s a vital medicine for Type 2 diabetes sufferers.
Chris Brown
Erskineville, NSW

Till death do us part

Thank you for your insightful feature [May 20], which I identified with at every turn. One thing that needs to change is the terrible lack of preparedness of all the corporations we have to deal with when a partner suddenly dies. Trying to make contact is a lost cause and limited to just the press 1, press 2 options. It’s impossible to speak to anyone and there’s no option that says, “press here if your spouse has died, you now have to manage the household, and you have none of his passwords”.
Gabrielle Gardner
Montmorency, VIC

Your article on the lives of widows was certainly helpful in guiding me about how I could better help a bereaved friend. But what surprised me later was the startling side effect of reading about the small as well as large ways these women missed their husbands: it made me far more appreciative of my (living) spouse. For almost 48 hours.
Name withheld, Dubbo, NSW

When a man is widowed, women – “the casserole brigade” – come around with food for the poor little bloke! As my husband (of 60 years) lay ill, he told me not to cry (“I’ve had a wonderful innings, get on with your life”). It took more than two years, upon seeing something lovely, I’d think “I must tell Ron that when I get home.” So keep all your chins up you widows, and get on with your life!
Myra Fisher
Brighton East, VIC

Modern Guru

Don’t worry about canine pedestrians, Danny Katz [May 20]. Next thing we will see is a zebra crossing at the lights!
Allan Gibson
Cherrybrook, NSW

The Empty Plate

On a recent trip to Victoria’s Mornington Peninsula, we dined at a hotel restaurant. It was a quiet and wet and chilly Tuesday evening, and the restaurant was less than half-full. But the diners were all placed in close proximity. Our table was close enough to each of our neighbours to easily hear their conversations. Why do restaurants do that? Why don’t they spread the diners around the space to give them a more intimate dining experience? It would have been a much more pleasant evening.
Matt Easton
Alexandria, NSW

Terry Durack responds: You make a good point. I have often wondered why restaurants plonk all the diners in a half-empty restaurant in one small area, leaving the remaining space vacant. This has happened to me on many occasions, and I always feel a little miffed. Surely, it makes more sense to spread the diners out across the restaurant. The restaurant the looks “fuller” and eavesdropping is kept to a minimum. Win, win, I would think.

Online comments

‘Do not contact me again’: The sudden death of a friendship 

The finality of “Don’t contact me again”[May 20] is an act of control. He could have just let it go and not replied. But the need to sever it says a lot about his need for validation and assurance. Which is why he was mortally wounded by the changed plans in NY. I travelled to NY four times in two years 2015-16, to see my daughter, and each time flew via LA on my preferred airline. My dear friend of 10 years and once colleague then lived in San Francisco and when he saw on FB that on the fourth trip I’d not “bothered” to come via SF he messaged me and said “I thought we were friends? Guess not.” In 2020, he moved back to Oz and I hesitated to contact but did anyway, and we have been rock-solid since after an honest discussion. The good Angie

So many reasons for friendships ending – abruptly. How do you, for instance, tell a long-time friend that your new husband can’t stand her? (Her constant criticism of the renovations he was doing to our house drove him nuts.) Years earlier, another long-time friend was getting heavily into baby-making just as I was getting a divorce and experimenting with drink, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. Desdemoana

The Pilot Pen gift pack.

There are much kinder ways of ending relationships. How hard is it to say: “I’d shifted things around to see you. Have realised I don’t have energy any more to keep up friendships from years ago. Sorry. Go well, old buddy. Glad to have known you,” or whatever the truth was. That bit of honesty and effort to help another person let go is a lovely thing. Okarina

READER PRIZE The winner of the best letter each week in May will win a Pilot Pen gift pack, featuring a Pilot MR3 Retro Pop Fountain Pen and matching ballpoint, and a bottle of hana-ikada (cherry blossom petals) Iroshizuku ink. RRP $123. pilotpen.com.au. The winner for May 20 was Vera Yee of Waverton, NSW.

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