Earlier this year, my son started childcare. Though this fact in and of itself is not remarkable, what is of note – and what is a constant point of interest to other parents when I talk to them – is that he was four months old when he started.

That’s right, four months.

For many parents, that might sound very early. And for most Australians, it is. According to data from the Australian Institute of Family Studies, only 16 per cent of children in childcare are younger than 12 months. Interestingly, though, longitudinal studies show that there are positive impacts for children who access quality early childhood education from the ages 0-3 years, namely when it comes to their independence, concentration, intellectual ability and school readiness.

So why did we do it? The main reason was that a spot became available sooner than we’d expected. Like many parents in major cities, where spots at reputable childcare centres are both rare and highly coveted, I put our name down on the waiting list when I was pregnant, assuming it would be at least a year before there was an availability.

When we were offered a space earlier than expected, my partner and I were conflicted – was it too soon? My partner was working full-time, and I had returned to working from home and managing my hours around my son’s sleep a month earlier, so a placement would certainly help us. But I was worried about the judgment I knew would come from others. Most women I knew were taking a solid year out to care for their babies, and four months is young. Did this suggest I was unwilling or uninterested in his care?

But I missed working and we needed the money. And, importantly, we didn’t want to lose a spot at the small centre that is “exceeding” the National Quality Standards rating. So into childcare he went.

Fast-forward a year, and my son loves it. He is consistently cheerful at drop-offs and pick-ups and has strong relationships with his educators. Sometimes, it is confronting for me to see how comfortable he is in their arms, but it’s also a blessing. I want my kid to feel safe, happy and secure. The fact he has these relationships at childcare makes me confident that it’s a positive environment for him.

At a recent pick-up, I began chatting to one of the educators.

“You know,” she said, “I was telling another parent today, who is thinking of putting their baby here, that it’s good for them when they start early. Look at your son! I told her, he’s been here since he was four months old, we’ve watched him grow up, and he’s like our baby. He is happy here, and it isn’t a stressful experience when he’s dropped off in the morning.”

Hearing her call my son “their baby” filled me up with happiness. At every step, the educators have excitedly shared our joy at my son’s progress. They eagerly waited for him to start crawling and standing, celebrate new words, new teeth. At pick-up, they tell me highlights from his day.

He is also gaining an education and social skills through the structured and unstructured play and activities they offer him. It’s so much more than the “babysitting” people often equate childcare with.

When we placed our son in childcare at four months old, although no one said anything to us, I was worried about the judgment or concern our families might have. I didn’t know anyone else who had done the same. I was alert to any criticism, largely because I had my own anxiety about it. But as our son has continued to thrive throughout his early childhood, my fear of judgment has mostly dissipated.

Even though I still feel guilty sometimes, I think guilt may just be part of parenting. It does take a village to raise kids. As society continues to change and evolve, it’s only natural that so, too, should our image of the village. Too often, we exclude childcare from that definition. But along with my family and friends, my son’s educators are an integral part of our village. They love him like he is a part of their family, and he adores them in return.

Zoya Patel is a freelance writer.

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