Next week, hundreds of Australian athletes, media types, and even the odd bumbling, out-of-touch chief executive will descend on Paris for the Olympic Games.
And CBD has a word of caution – don’t mention the submarines.
Don’t mention les sous-marins.Credit: US Navy
Nearly three years after former prime minister Scott Morrison tore up a submarine contract with the French to pursue the AUKUS pact, earning the ire of Emmanuel Macron, some of our Gallic friends are still not over it, despite the Albanese government’s success in warming the Franco-Australian diplomatic relationship.
This memo wasn’t received by Labor assistant minister to the PM Patrick Gorman, who delivered a few zingers at a Qantas soiree to celebrate the airline’s new direct Perth to Paris flight, held at the Australian embassy a stone’s throw from the Eiffel Tower.
“Australia learnt that getting submarines from France to Australia is very difficult. While Qantas made getting aircraft from France to Australia look very easy.”
In a room full of French officials (and Morrison’s favourite Francophile singer Tina Arena for some reason), this joke could’ve gone down like Marine Le Pen’s vote share. Clearly, Australia’s ambassador to France Gillian Bird thought so. She was heard muttering: “Please don’t, I never mention submarines in this country any more”.
That said, we’re more offended by Gorman, the member for Perth, drawing jesting comparisons between his home city and the French capital.
“Today, our two cities have so much in common. Paris has the Eiffel Tower, Perth has the (almost as impressive) Bell Tower. Paris has the Baguette, Perth has the Bunnings sausage in a bun,” he said.
Luckily, the French have a good sense of humour.
ORIGIN ENERGY
Before the players took the field for last night’s decider, State of Origin fever even managed to infect the wonky world of renewable energy policy.
Speaking at the Australian Clean Energy Summit at the ICC Sydney on Wednesday morning, NSW Energy Minister Penny Sharpe revealed her banter with her Queensland counterpart Mick de Brenni.
“Mick sent this text to me this morning. And, of course, it’s State of Origin for those that follow these football games ...
“Mick is doing a speech today where he’s going to outline why Queensland is better for the transition than NSW. I’ve told him I love your work, but I disagree.”
To be fair, Sharpe isn’t completely averse to sport. Asked for her thoughts on the Tour de France, the minister replied she only followed Roller Derby, to plenty of laughs.
The crowd was more interested in Sharpe’s thoughts on who would win the US presidential election.
“I hope not Trump, but definitely [the Democrats] have to move on from Biden,” she said.
The Coalition’s shadow climate and energy minister, Ted O’Brien, got a frostier reception after arriving late, with the renewable energy heads asking why he spent so much time talking about his pet topic of nuclear rather than clean energy.
O’Brien is tasked with convincing seven regional areas around Australia not to be terrified of Peter Dutton’s plans to build a nuclear reactor in their backyard.
On Thursday, he’s headed to Balaklava in South Australia, a couple of hours down the road from a proposed reactor site at Port Augusta, where he’ll be speaking at a fundraiser for the local Liberal branch held at a golf club.
We’re sure that’ll ease any local concerns.
TEARS AND HUGGINS
CBD has been closely monitoring the meltdowns among residents of some of the country’s richest suburbs, who are unhappy with the Australian Electoral Commission’s plans to abolish their electorates.
Not to be outdone by North Sydney MP Kylea Tink’s dummy spit, Victorian Liberal powerbroker Michael Kroger penned a sentimental objection to the AEC over its plans to abolish the Melbourne division of Higgins.
He described Higgins as a seat “steeped in history and significance,” which had “long been a cornerstone of our political landscape”.
“It has been represented by some of Australia’s most notable political figures, including (former prime ministers) Harold Holt and John Gorton,” he said.
“This heritage is not merely symbolic; it is a testament to the enduring voice and influence of Higgins residents in federal politics.”
Created in 1949, Higgins was also held by former treasurer and recently departed Nine chairman Peter Costello and former Liberal MP Kelly O’Dwyer.
REVHEAD
CBD readers might be curious about the fate of Sutherland mayor Carmelo Pesce, whose ambitions to succeed former prime minister Scott Morrison as the member for Cook were so spectacularly crushed by Liberals in March.
The latest rumours are Pesce wants a seat in state parliament, hopefully moving into the Miranda electorate held by his occasional political ally Eleni Petinos. In turn, there’s plenty of Liberal chatter about Petinos going federal, challenging Jenny Ware for preselection in the electorate of Hughes.
While that’s all a bit of scuttlebutt, it’s more certain that Pesce, a motorhead whose luxury car collection includes a vintage Bentley and a 1976 Porsche, is looking to sell his 2017 Ford Mustang. It’s listed in a local for-sale group at an asking price of $57,000.