By Kishor Napier-Raman and Noel Towell
After his eight-day disciplinary hearing wound up last week, embattled neurosurgeon Charlie Teo was crying poor, telling The Daily Telegraph he’d been hounded out of Sydney, and reduced to driving Ubers to make ends meet.
On Saturday night, hours after that sob story splashed across the tabloid’s front page, Teo showed up at a glitzy gala for underworld figure Mick Gatto’s charity Equal Access for Autism after making a $10,000 donation.
While last week’s hearings revealed not a single Australian or New Zealand-based neurosurgeon had provided him with a letter of support during the recent inquiry, Teo was treated like royalty during Saturday’s shindig, which drew a glamorous cast of minor celebrities and underworld identities to Melbourne’s Hyatt place.
Gatto, who is one of an eclectic group of loyal supporters who’ve stuck with Teo despite the most recent complaints of unsatisfactory conduct, gave the surgeon a special shout-out in his speech.
Everyone wanted a piece of Charlie – who was decked out in a flamboyant purple scarf – including reformed bank robber-turned podcast host Russell Manser. Former bikie boss Toby Mitchell, actor Vince Colosimo and AFLW star Tayla Harris were spotted in the room.
The night itself was quite the extravaganza – a three-course menu designed by George Calombaris of MasterChef and wage theft fame, plus entertainment from singer Kate Ceberano and comedy troupe Sooshi Mango.
There was also some staggering wealth on display at the silent auction, where one of the items included a lunch with colourful former Aussie rules players Ben Cousins, Sam Newman and Michael Gardiner.
“Holy hell, that could be more than a lunch,” was the response from Nine host Richard Wilkins, on MC duties.
We’re just glad to see Teo living his best life among damn fine company.
KEITH’S CREW
Keith Wolahan – one of just two federal Liberal MPs left in metropolitan Melbourne – was having a pretty good day until about 8pm on Saturday.
The rookie MP spent the morning at the Albert Park race circuit for a shift at the hospitality suite he was sharing with shadow defence minister and fellow veteran Andrew Hastie for a little hobnobbing with – among others – UK Investment Minister Lord Dominic Johnson, British High Commissioner Vicki Treadell and Consul-General Steph Lysaght.
Then it was out to Aston for Wolahan to hit the hustings along with candidate Roshena Campbell, Senator Jane Hume and former MP Katie Allen.
All in vain, as the byelection turned into a disaster for the Liberals, with Wolahan copping the ill fortune of fronting a live ABC panel dissection of the carnage.
Credit: Joe Benke
When we caught up Wolahan and Hastie at their trackside retreat on Sunday, the assembled crowd looked like they were putting on a brave face despite the obvious disappointment of the Aston result.
“People are getting on with life,” Wolahan told CBD.
“I don’t think anybody here was watching ABC last night.”
JIM’S APRIL FOOLS
Jim Penman was barely king for a day.
We bought word last Friday that the eccentric founder of Jim’s Mowing was seceding from Victoria to create his own micronation.
Come Saturday, Penman claimed the whole thing was simply an April Fool’s Day prank designed to raise money for men’s sheds. Perhaps we were played. But let’s not forget, Jim went to the trouble of creating his own passports, stamps and website.
He did a photoshoot seated on the throne of Jimland, featuring a fake beard, robes and crown. And he had his PR agency shop the story to journalists at this masthead late last week, and it eventually ran the day before April Fool’s.
Prank or not, the story of Jim’s sovereign citizen turn struck such a chord because it was entirely believable. This is, after all, a bloke who penned a book called The Hungry Ape, elaborating on his bizarre theories about the differences between various races. He has 11 children, but is on record expounding on the benefits of limiting sexual activity.
And all that goofiness aside, Penman has never been shy about his dislike for Dan Andrews.
Our takeaway here is that, in the year of our lord 2023, we’re all far too old and jaded for April Fool’s Day.
LOST AND FOUND
The Coalition might have been banished from power in NSW, but the detritus from their 12-year reign still litters Sydney.
Last year, the Lyric Theatre’s impresario Stephen Found told us he had no plans to rename the “Barra Bar” at the venue’s VIP room, named after former deputy premier John Barilaro.
It isn’t the only shrine to the National Party that’s lasted in the theatre. In 2013, then-arts minister George Souris threw a silver coin “as a symbol of strength and durability” during the opening night of War Horse.
Souris spent just three years in cabinet before getting the boot from Mike Baird in the interests of generational change, but that coin is still mounted on a ceremonial plaque in the theatre’s champagne room, where Found regularly takes guests for a bit of boozing and schmoozing.