Could this viral self-help mantra make you happier at work?

A viral mindset known as the ‘Let Them’ theory is gaining traction in workplaces, with employees rethinking how they respond to difficult colleagues, high-pressure dynamics, and everyday frustrations.

Inspired by author and speaker Mel Robbins, the idea is simple: instead of over-explaining, overreacting, or over-performing, people are choosing to disengage and take the stance of ‘let them interrupt, let them take the credit, let them overwork’.

Author and speaker Mel Robbins is the architect of the ‘let them’ theory.Credit: Nathan Congleton/NBC via Getty Images

In a culture where stress, burnout, and quiet quitting are becoming more common, the ‘let it go’ approach is resonating; particularly among emotionally fatigued workers who no longer have the bandwidth for drama.

While in theory this approach is a means for boundary setting, it’s not without its risks and misapplications; especially in environments that rely on collaboration and teamwork.

The issue arises when it’s used as an excuse to ignore poor behaviour, rather than address it. There’s a significant difference between emotionally detaching from things outside your control, and just allowing dysfunction as if it doesn’t matter.

If a colleague’s actions are undermining team culture, collaboration, or your own wellbeing, passivity is not the solution. Emotional detachment doesn’t mean inaction, it means choosing how and when to respond.

It’s not about indifference; it’s about knowing where to channel your energy, and when to step back.

Many workers are embracing this mindset without fully realising it doesn’t let them off the hook.

In a world where employees are increasingly stretched thin, this new technique can feel like a lifeline, offering permission to focus on what’s manageable and release the rest. But if it leads people to ignore patterns of behaviours that could (and should) be constructively addressed, it becomes counterproductive.

Recent research by Indeed found that employees are most frustrated by behaviours like hypocrisy, micromanaging, setting unreasonable expectations, taking credit for others’ work and playing favourites.

These actions may seem easier to overlook in the moment, but over time they chip away at morale, trust, and productivity. Letting them go might feel like self-preservation – but it can also allow dysfunction to quietly embed.

So, what’s the alternative when letting things go isn’t sustainable or even sensible?

For leaders, the answer lies in addressing unhealthy dynamics early without stoking drama or assigning blame. Setting clear expectations, modelling healthy boundaries, and having honest conversations – without resorting to micromanaging or escalating tensions – can help restore balance.

Ultimately, ‘let them’ works best when paired with emotional intelligence. It’s not about indifference; it’s about knowing where to channel your energy, and when to step back in order to preserve your peace.

Amanda Gordon is a workplace psychologist at job site Indeed.

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