NRL SuperCoach: The worst trades we’ve seen so far this week

TO paraphrase Gus Gould there can only be one response to the trades some NRL SuperCoaches have made this week — no, no, no, no, no!

TO paraphrase Gus Gould there can only be one response to the trades some NRL SuperCoaches have made this week — no, no, no, no, no!

Last week I wrote about trades that breached ‘the five commandments of NRL SuperCoach’ and received some feedback suggesting I had purloined these commandments from another SuperCoach fan.

Not realising that the basic tenets of fantasy sport, let alone the bible, had been copyrighted I shall make no further mention of ‘commandments’ and just call the trades below what they are — dumb.

Roger Tuivasa Sheck to Will Hopoate (1) and Josh Hoffman (1)

Everything I wrote about RTS last week ‘massive workrate, busts tackles for fun’ etc etc still stands. To top it off he crossed the tryline last week and set up a couple of others. He has a three round average of 87.7 and is deservedly the third most popular trade in target of the week. So what in God’s name are these two guys thinking?

Will Hopoate: Hoppa’s going okay I suppose, a season average of 58 is nothing to sneeze at, but let’s be honest he’s scored a try in every game so far and I’ll give you my first born son if he does that for the remainder of the season (yes readers the first born — the one I like). Why am I prepared to risk the good kid? Because, Hoppa won’t even play every week, in fact there is a three round stint (10-12 inclusive) in which Hopoate will not play, nor watch, the game due to his religious beliefs.

Josh Hoffman ... seriously Hoffman? People we need to find the person that made this trade and have them sign over a power of attorney as this is clearly not a person fit to be making life changing decisions. The Hoff has a two game average of 30, a high BE and no chance whatsoever of finishing the season in anyone’s top 17.

Jesse Bromwich to Dylan Napa (1) and Jo Ofahenguae (1)

The best young prop in the game, Bromwich is SuperCoach gold thanks to the big Kiwi not playing Origin. Averaging a healthy 71 points with a mix of beefy base stats and prodigious attacking ability it’s easy to see why Jesse B is owned by 23% of SuperCoaches. It is impossible to see why two people opted to ditch him for:

Dylan Napa: Big Red has been very good for the Roosters so far this season averaging 50+ minutes per game and scoring at 1 PPM. He is a fine NRL player, by all accounts a fine young man and if you are ever lucky enough to hear him sing Danny Boy after a couple of pints of Guinness you’d be surprised to discover the big man possesses a sweet tenor voice. I’m a big fan, but if my mate sold Jesse Bromwich to buy in Napa I’d slap him silly.

Jo Ofahenguae: The second best Ofahenguae ever to grace the hallowed turf of Suncorp Stadium/Lang Park, Willie O’s nephew has plenty of potential. You don’t get points for potential people — I’d make that my sixth commandment if I were allowed to talk about commandments, but I’m not so let’s just move right along.

Cam Smith to Apisau Koroisau (15) Craig Garvey (5)

There’s no sugar coating it — Cam, you’re an old man who played one season too long. You’re a has been, a wash-up it’s time to give it away. Harsh? Yes. Ridiculous? Yes. As stooopid as trading out the fourth most productive hooker in the game for a guy who isn’t even selected this week? Line ball.

Craig Garvey: The Garvinator has the second best average of any hooker so far this season. He’s a SuperCoach stud in the making, a tackling machine who can also make sweet little darts from dummy half. He’s also not playing this week. Not playing. Will not score points. Do not trade him in. No, no, no, no, no!

Apisau Koroisau: The Manly half/hooker had a ripper of a game against Souths last week with a try, three line breaks and an eye-watering 11 tackle busts (not surprising for a man who clears a backfence with such elan). Given 80 minutes in the halves while Daly Cherry-Evans learns how to play football again Koroisau should make owners a pretty penny if he can play even half as well over the next couple of weeks. But when DCE returns the best happy Api can hope for is a bench role and you’ll be burning another trade. Burning trades is bad — some other bloke said so in his commandments.

Originally published as NRL SuperCoach: The worst trades we’ve seen so far this week