NRL 2021: Every NRL bogey side since 1998 revealed

We have crunched the numbers to reveal the biggest bogey side for all 16 NRL teams – and there’s some shock results.

Scott Sattler can still feel Cameron Smith gripped tight around his waist.

“Like a leech,” he says.

Doesn’t matter that it was 18 years ago.

Or in the same season this Penrith backrower would win the 2003 NRL premiership, in the process creating one of the most iconic grand final images ever.

Still, he sees Smith; feels him clung on.

Sure, the Melbourne No.9 was, back then, an eternity from being the greatest ever anything.

Little more than a bad haircut and handful of games.

But the kid, he couldn’t be shook.

Hanging on, Sattler says, until “the rest of them arrived”.

By which he means Storm forwards Rodney Howe and Robbie Kearns, or Steve Kearney, Dallas Johnson, even ‘ol crazy eyes Danny Williams.

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Scott Sattler tries to break a Steve Kearney tackle. Picture: AAP

“And all of them looking to break ribs,” Sattler laughs.

“I remember it was Round 2, Olympic Park.

“We’d even talked about Smith before the game.

“He’d only made his debut the year before, played a couple of games, but we’d still seen tape of him rushing off the line, latching on, then waiting for his team-mates to come in.

“And when they did, mate, it was to dismantle you, piece by piece.

“They were ruthless.

“Relentless.

“The one team that year we didn’t want to play.”

Almost 20 winters on out west and little has changed.

With Melbourne still Penrith’s No.1 bogey team.

Sure, the Panthers rallied last June at home to upset the eventual premiers. Just as they got it done in the final round of 2018.

But all up? And in the biggest games?

According to Fox Sports Statistics, Penrith’s record against Storm is the third worst of any NRL team.

Felise Kaufusi of the Storm celebrates with Josh Addo-Carr and Cameron Smith after the final siren, winning the 2020 NRL Grand Final. Picture: Getty Images

Apart from getting overrun, most recently, in the 2020 grand final, the Panthers have also won just 15 per cent of games since 2007, and 25 per cent in the NRL era.

None of which makes them Robinson Crusoe.

Especially when, of all 16 NRL teams, more than half have Melbourne as Public Enemy No.1.

Sure, there are exceptions.

Like Wests Tigers being whipping boys for the Roosters. Or Cronulla, unable to shake Manly.

The Sea Eagles, meanwhile, face their bogey team in Friday Night Football, St George Illawarra. While Canterbury do the same Saturday, against Brisbane.

Yet still for nine sides, that bogey team is Storm.

Which sounds impossible, right?

Across nearly 25 years of the world’s toughest rugby league competition, and one club owns a hoodoo over more than half the league.

Even more incredible, they are the only mob for whom the phrase ‘bogey team’ isn’t relevant.

In the NRL era, Melbourne’s greatest rival has been Canterbury — who they still beat half the time — while since 2007 their worst record is against Manly, where they still win six of 10 games.

All of which Sattler has no problem believing.

After all, he was there when the juggernaut was born.

“That premiership year,” he says, referencing 2003, “it was also Craig Bellamy’s first in charge of Storm.

“And Craig, he really brought a streak of nastiness to them, which I say in the nicest possible way.

The Bulldogs and Storm have a long rivalry. Picture: Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images

“Melbourne were like the old Oakland Raiders.

“Relentless, in your face, refused to let you breath.

“I had f...ing nightmares about them.”

Indeed, despite being the greatest Panthers side of the NRL era, Sattler’s mob got dusted twice by Storm that season, and by a combined total of 74-28.

“We were a team that wanted to find our rhythm early,” the retired backrower continues. “And when we did, we could blow teams off the park.

“But Melbourne, they refused to let us find it.

“From the opening whistle they were so physical, it actually shocked us a bit.

“We didn’t know how to respond.”

Which sound a bit like that old boxing adage of styles making fights?

“Exactly,” Sattler says. “And they were Marvelous Marvin Hagler.”

Which is how it will be again Thursday night.

When in a blockbuster grand final replay, Melbourne will look to build its platform on the backs of men like the Bromwich brothers, Christian Welch and Nelson Asofa Solomona, before then allowing Cameron Munster to play magician.

Yet if ever a Panthers team was ready to bury the Storm hoodoo, Sattler says, it’s this mob.

“Because these guys, like us, get into a rhythm too,” he says. “Then play a Harlem Globetrotter game, where you have to chase them around the field, try to match their energy.

“But I also think Penrith have found a physicality, one we started seeing towards the end of last year.

“And James Fisher-Harris, he’s the leader.

“I think it’s the missing link they needed.

“A ruthlessness now becoming ingrained in their game.”

Which again, is also a Melbourne hallmark.

So as for which Storm Trooper Sattler hated playing most?

“Oh, Danny Williams,” he laughs.

“Danny had a real evil streak, one you could see in his eyes.

“During games, he wouldn’t converse, wouldn’t smile, all he wanted to do was maim with elbows, knees, head, whatever.

“Honestly, it was like you were trying to steal from his family.”

Which is why, when Canterbury knocked Melbourne out of that ‘03 finals series, Sattler exhaled.

“I don’t remember actually watching it,” says the fella who, a fortnight later, would tackle himself into immortality.

“But I remember the feeling afterwards.

“The relief.

“Because while I always thought we’d win the competition, I really believed Melbourne would make us work hardest for it.”

So you would’ve broken that Storm hoodoo on grand final day?

“Well, there weren’t many people thought we’d beat the Roosters,” Sattler says. “But just as we found something against them that night, I’m confident we would’ve found something to beat Melbourne too.

“Afterwards though, we just wouldn’t have partied as long.

“We all would’ve been too sore.”

Originally published as NRL 2021: Every NRL bogey side since 1998 revealed