Ian Roberts message to gay athletes as agents reveal they’ve been asked to hide players’ sexuality

Australia’s first openly gay rugby league player, Ian Roberts, has a message of hope for the next male player of a contact sport ready to come out.

“The next male NRL player who comes out will be a f---ing megastar.”

That’s the message from Australia’s first openly gay NRL player Ian Roberts who has urged players not to be afraid to come out.

He was speaking in the wake of an exclusive player agents survey who revealed that they had been asked to keep the sexuality of their players a secret.

Roberts revealed two NRL players over the past 15 years have contacted him to discuss the prospect of publicly announcing they are gay.

The Roberts revelation comes three decades after the former Manly and Souths enforcer became an unwitting trailblazer by announcing he was gay in 1995, at the height of his Origin and Test career.

“I am so grateful I was born gay, it has become my superpower,” Roberts said.

Ian Roberts the first high-profile Australian sports person and first rugby footballer in the world to come out to the public as gay. Picture: Rohan Kelly

The Sunday Telegraph reached out to Roberts following an exclusive Code Sports survey that polled more than 50 of the NRL’s accredited player agents.

As part of the anonymous poll, agents were asked to detail some of the issues they have had to deal with.

Three agents listed sexuality and conversations with male NRL players privately confessing they are gay – and whether they should come out.

“There’s a few homosexuals in the NRL that people wouldn’t know about,” one NRL player manager said. “I would say there are up to six or seven (gay male players) in the game today.

“Some NRL players are confused about their identity and we have to be there as agents to help them come to terms with it in what is a very macho industry.”

A second agent said he has dealt with homosexuality issues for more than a decade, both with current and former NRL players.

“I’ve had a few chats with players around their decisions on homosexuality and dealing with their feelings on it,” the agent said. “I won’t name them due to client confidentiality.

“This one player was not confused so much about whether he was gay – he knew he was – but he was worried about how he would be treated by others at his club. That’s where an agent has a huge role to play.

“In one case, we got our player some help around counselling and professional services to deal with their sexuality.”

Roberts isn’t shocked by the player-agent survey findings.

Now 59, he has been an ­inspiration for gay athletes around the globe after coming out. Just last week, Roberts ­received a call from a Canadian professional ice hockey player Luke Prokop, who came out four years ago at the age of 19.

A veteran of 194 first grade games, Roberts applauded NRL agents for helping players, detailing his own private conversations with homosexual first-grade stars.

Ian Roberts has been an ­inspiration for gay athletes around the globe after coming out.

“I find those survey results fascinating,” he said.

“I find it fascinating because I really believe that the next male who comes out in a major contact sport, like rugby league, rugby union or the AFL, will become an absolute superstar.

“I can tell you I’ve had two instances over the past 15 or so years where (NRL) guys have got in touch with me. One of those was anonymous, I didn’t know his name, and the other one was semi-open about it.

“They asked me what I thought the best situation was. I said I can’t answer that for you.

“All I told them was that you need to know that you are safe and loved and once you come out, you can’t go back in.

“Those two players ultimately never came out. I want to say to any gay male player – the best thing ever I did was come out.

“My family always knew I was gay, but I thought I shouldn’t have to tell people I’m gay.

“People should just accept it. Even when I was at Souths, I would bring my (male) partner to functions and people were waiting for me to come out.

“But I always thought: ‘Why should I label this?’ But I understand now as time goes on why I had to. I wish I was never in the closet.”

Roberts is one of at least nine professional male athletes around the world who have declared their homosexuality.

After Roberts took the plunge in 1995, it was another 24 years before another Australian male sportsman went public about being gay, with former A-League player Andy Brennan coming out in 2019.

The following year, former Wallabies prop Dan Palmer revealed he was gay – five years after retirement – while Adelaide United footballer Josh Cavallo, now 25, came out via a video post on his club’s website in October 2021.

In rugby league, Englishman Keegan Hirst is the only other player to join Roberts, first speaking about his homosexuality in 2015. He described the immense fear but was met with strong support and went on to play three seasons in the Super League with Wakefield before retiring in 2022.

Roberts says while same-sex attraction doesn’t seem to be an issue in women’s sports, there is still a stigma around gay players in the NRL.

“The women’s sports are all over it. The men’s sports are still lagging. They’re a fair mile behind,” he said.

“There’s still that sense that somehow it’s weak to be gay if you are a man.”

Roberts offered to support and be a sounding board for any player thinking about coming out.

“Look, it would be wonderful if they came out, but as long as that player is really comfortable with the decision,” he said.

“Because once it happens, there will be some pushback.

“I was playing for Australia and I was seen as a rugby league enforcer, so it clashed a lot with people’s perspectives of what a gay man should be.

“There were some ugly situations. Some other players in representative teams had a real problem with me being gay.

“I did give a f--k, because I didn’t want to make other players feel uncomfortable, but I’ve never had a problem myself.

“I just knew others seemed to have a problem.”

Roberts says for all the emotional turbulence of coming out – including some confronting conversations with his mum and dad and siblings, it was a blessing.

“My only regret is I didn’t come out sooner,” Roberts said.

“My family was very working-class. We were ‘Ten Pound Poms’ who came to Australia and to be honest, my family were quite openly racist, misogynistic and homophobic.

“My dad passed away about 11 years ago but I remember an interview we did just before he died where the reporter asked: ‘You must be really proud of your son?’ My dad said: ‘I’m equally proud of all my children, but I was very fortunate and I’m very grateful that I was gifted a gay son because they got to see the world as it really is.

“That was the most perfect f---ing response. I couldn’t believe my dad would ever say something like that. I said: ‘Where the f--k did you get that from?’

“He said: ‘I just said it, and I meant it’.

“Embracing homosexuality can help save people’s lives, that’s how significant it is.”

Originally published as Ian Roberts message to gay athletes as agents reveal they’ve been asked to hide players’ sexuality