Aussie fans clap back at Barmy Army’s ‘stat-padding’ sledge

England just can’t get Australia’s cricket team out of its head, with the Aussies dominating the first Test against Sri Lanka.

Kylie Minogue, a proud Aussie who mostly calls England home, famously sang she “can’t get you out of my head” in a track dedicated to obsession.

That mantra could also apply to England fans when it comes to Australia’s all-conquering cricket team.

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After finally getting over the hurdle of India this Aussie summer, Pat Cummins’ side now holds every bilateral trophy, has retained the Ashes since 2017 and is preparing for a second consecutive appearance in the World Test Championship (WTC) final.

A new-look squad is currently in Sri Lanka for a two-Test series and finally declared its first innings on 6/654 and immediately had the hosts in trouble in reply at 3/44 at stumps on day two.

Usman Khawaja earlier made a sensational 232, while stand-in skipper Steve Smith (141) and debutant Josh Inglis (102) also brought up tons.

And it seems it’s all getting a bit too much for those battling Poms.

Shots fired from the Barmy Army … sort of. Photo: News Corp

After 38-year-old Usman Khawaja and 35-year-old Steve Smith produced superb unbeaten tons on day one, the official Barmy Army social media account posted a short message towards Australia and the fan group’s more than 477,000 followers on X.

“Keep statpadding, Aussies,” it read.

The inference here is that this Aussie team is beefing up its stats on a flat pitch against a Sri Lankan team that is currently fifth on the WTC table.

That would be one place higher than England, a nation that is still yet to qualify even for a WTC final, a tough pill to swallow considering it hosts the decider every year.

The Barmy Army, a somehow still jovial lot that watch their side regularly lose at home and abroad, also included a post from an account called Alasdair333, a Somerset cricket fan with a Namibian and New Zealand flag in his X bio.

Beats supporting England, we suppose.

Usman Khawaja and Steve Smith put on 266 runs for the third wicket. (Photo by Robert Cianflone/Getty Images)

Anyway Alasdair wrote: “Sri Lanka extending the careers of this ancient Australian top order with a flat deck just so they don’t get dropped and England can polish them off in the Ashes, thank you for your service,” with the saluting emoji.

England will return to Australia in November for its latest attempt to wrest back the little urn, a country where it has failed to win a single Test match in its past 15 attempts.

The irony here is while Australia has been battling for WTC glory, winning the mace in 2023 and facing South Africa for another one later this year, England has regularly been playing the likes of Pakistan, the West Indies and Sri Lanka.

Sadly, the returns are still not great, with England winning 11, losing 10 and drawing one of its 22 matches in the current WTC period.

In Bazball we trust.

Joe Root celebrating a double-century in Pakistan last October. (Photo by Aamir QURESHI / AFP)

In that same stretch, the Aussies have won 11 matches, lost four and drawn two.

The English do like to attempt to needle Australia’s triumphant side and the two posts above have drawn a wide range of replies.

Many were quick to point to their batting jewel Joe Root, a man currently atop the ICC batting rankings who is still waiting for his first Test century through 27 innings on Australian shores.

X user Michael Johnston replied: “Well what else do you want (Australia) to do? Just not score runs? How was the English stat padding on the road in Pakistan when they scored 800?”

Matt McGoldrick quipped: “We call these runs, Joe Root runs.”

Cricket Glimpse wrote: “Bark, bark, bark, when is Joe Root going to make a Test hundred in Australia? Scott Boland is waiting for Fraud England cricket team.”

Hayden Boyle said: “Statpadding whilst simultaneously being the best Test team in the world, sure thing ya pommy whingers.”

Pat Cummins with a replica Ashes urn after the 2023 series in England. (Photo by Ryan Pierse/Getty Images)

Another account offered: “Australian batting order might be ancient, might be out of form or not much skilled but even on their worst outings they will outperform the best days of these Bazballers.”

Another stated: “We could roll out Tubby Taylor and Steve Waugh in the top order and still beat England.”

Some were keen to point out the lack of England success striving for the Ashes, while another had sympathy for the Barmy Army account.

Crickettragic wrote: “Yep Same Old Aussies … Always winning …Just in case you’ve forgotten what they look like,” along with a photo of Cummins and the famous urn.

The England supporters will be back in full voice in Australia later this year. Picture Lachie Millard

Trey said: “You stat padded for 2 series back to back in Pakistan you hypocrites, dawg.”

Take that, dawg.

Clare Cosy suggested: “Credit where it’s due, hard to be a fan account that celebrates cricket when your teams are dreadful in pretty much all formats lol. Keep going admin.”

There was a smattering of support.

Jools declared: “This is top level trolling. Some of the replies are definitely triggered.”

Jason Arnold said: “As an Aussie, you’re spot on. Nothing worse than Khawaja, in particular, staying in the team.”

Just a note, Khawaja brought up his highest Test score in this first match and became the first Australian to register a double-ton in the country.

Originally published as Aussie fans clap back at Barmy Army’s ‘stat-padding’ sledge