Boxer Louise Creaven lived on apples, hid purging from boyfriend, amid crippling eating disorder

‘Even making new friends, I would have to find places to purge when I was out with them.’ Australian boxer Louise Creaven details the horrific roller coaster of an eating disorder, writes JAMIE PANDARAM.

Boxer Louise Creaven battled an eating disorder for 15 years. Picture: Supplied

There were times Louise Creaven would go four months eating only apples.

And then there were times she’d secretly eat an entire pack of Tim Tams, sneak out of her home without her boyfriend knowing, buy two more packets and eat both.

Then vomit it all out.

It was the horrific roller coaster ride of an eating disorder that Creaven endured for most of her 29 years.

Boxer Louise Creaven went through a severe eating disorder and would spend months eating only apples. Picture: Supplied

The Irish-born boxer, who recently made her professional debut, has revealed how throwaway comments can drastically impact a child’s psyche around food.

“There was a lot of shaming around my school and at home, and that would always play on my mind, things like, ‘You can’t be fat’, ‘Stop eating that’, and we’d be seen as eating too much,” Creaven said.

“Nobody was educated back then about food and how to talk about it.

When I started high school, aged 13, I got my first boyfriend and there was a comment at a disco about how good I looked, and from that point on I became conscious of the food I was eating.

“For four years, I was yoyo dieting. I would deprive myself so much, and then I’d eat a bar of chocolate and I’d forgotten how good it tastes, so I would gorge on it until I vomited.

“I’d gain weight and hide myself under baggy clothes.

“Then I started eating only apples, that’s what I survived on for months. If someone put something else in front of me, I’d eat it, and then sneak away into the bathroom and was purging it back out.”

At 18, Creaven made the decision to move from Ireland to the Gold Coast, following her then boyfriend, and began working at an Irish bar in Surfers Paradise.

“My partner made me feel comfortable in my body. I had put on a little bit of weight and I remember waking up just hating the way I looked, hated every bit of it.

“So I got a very unhealthy obsession with the gym, started going two or three times a day.

“I was getting the comments again about how good I looked, and I was so scared of putting on weight that I started back with eating only apples, still training three times a day.”

Creaven admits she was yo yo dieting. Picture: Supplied

It was unsustainable, and after some near collapses Creaven sought out a personal trainer who put her on a more stable and healthy eating plan.

“She got me back into eating. But it was a very strict diet where portions were weighed and it was low calorie, and I wouldn’t go outside of that plan even a little bit.

“All of my meals were prepped, so there’d be times I would go without eating because I’d be out with friends and couldn’t access my meal, and wouldn’t eat from a restaurant or cafe.

“I was single again by this stage, and I had a first date with a guy, and he wouldn’t tell me where we were going. I was so stressed out because I couldn’t look up a menu online to see what there was.

“It ended up being an Italian restaurant. I had pasta, and as soon as I was finished I went to the bathroom and purged.

“Again, bingeing and purging became my safe space.

“I had this crippling anxiety that if I put on weight, my boyfriend would leave me, because I had to look the same as when he met me.

“I would hide Tim Tams around the house and eat whole packets at a time, then go to the shops and buy more and eat another two packets and then purge it all up again.

“I got a lot worse, anything that went into me had to come out.

“Even making new friends, I would have to find places to purge when I was out with them.

“I tried seeking help from counsellors, it just didn’t work. At the time I felt like they were reading off a script, like I was just another number to them. Looking back on it, maybe I wasn’t ready to get help.”

But four years ago she made a pivotal decision to reach out for help at her lowest moment.

After overcoming an eating disorder, Louise Creaven has made a successful professional boxing debut. Picture: Supplied

Creaven found a life coach, Becka Gillen – who was an old friend from Ireland – and through a cognitive behavioural therapy program she changed her mindset around food, eating and weight.

“She made me log everything in a diary, so every time I would binge eat, I had to write down what I was thinking, what had happened that day, what the triggers were,” Creaven said.

“She taught me how the brain is supposed to work. I had to retrain my whole brain to love myself.

“Once I loved myself enough, I was able to be full with everything, my connection to people changed, I was able to smile and it was a real smile.”

Creaven took up a 12-week challenge at her gym, and boxing was incorporated into it.

So began her passion for the sweet science, but along with it came the precarious reality of cutting weight.

“We have to be weighed every week, that is the reality of a weight category sport, and so there is always that danger that you can fall back into the bad habits,” Creaven said.

But she is working with dietitian Tyler Brooks and coach Luke Toope to tailor a program for her, while avoiding weekly weight testing because it can be a trigger.

After 14 amateur fights, middleweight Creaven made her professional boxing debut a fortnight ago on the Hope In Health fight card on the Gold Coast, defeating Usanakorn Thawilsuhannawang by unanimous decision over five rounds.

Creaven in her professional boxing debut against Usanakorn Thawilsuhannawang on the Gold Coast. Picture: Supplied

The event raised awareness for Hope in Health’s two new Australian facilities that will be opening soon on the Gold Coast and Richmond, Victoria, to support those struggling with trauma or addiction.

Nick Midgley, co-founder and program director of Hope in Health (hopeinhealth.com.au), said: “We are proud to offer holistic, personalised treatment experiences focusing on a person’s individual recovery.

“Our framework seeks to balance emotional, physical and spiritual health. My vision for Hope in Health is to continue to scale and offer our services to as many people as possible. I’m really excited about what’s going to come.”

Jake Majerovic, co-founder and strategy director, added: “We recognise the need to build rehabilitation environments around the needs of people who are going through their recovery journey.

“We are focused on creating purpose-built, master planned facilities that target specific needs in the community, creating homely spaces, a place to belong while you’re rehabilitating.”

Originally published as Boxer Louise Creaven lived on apples, hid purging from boyfriend, amid crippling eating disorder