Neale Daniher’s book for his grandkids shows how amazing he is, writes Mark Robinson
Neale Daniher’s first and only foray into the literary world is for his grandchildren. And after being at the launch, Mark Robinson writes the Fight MND crusader’s book is for all of us.
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Neale Daniher joked that he wanted people to make a promise.
“My favourite part of the book is the letter to my grandchildren,” he said. “It’s at the back of the book, and I know none of you will do this, but don’t read the letter until you’ve read the whole book. I know most of you will do the opposite.”
Let’s not spoil it too much, but the letter starts with a previous moment in time.
“I’m writing this letter while sitting on a fifth-floor balcony at Scarborough Beach, looking out to Rottnest Island, where the glorious Indian Ocean meets the brilliant blue sky. Earlier this afternoon, your grandmother and I met our first grandchild, Cooper Anthony Daniher.
“My hands are not strong enough to cradle Cooper in my arms, so when we met, I sat down on the couch and propped him between my legs, gently stroking the soft fuzz of hair and listening to him gently goo and gah.”
Daniher’s first and only foray into the literary world — Neale Daniher: When All Is Said & Done — is a book for his grandchildren.
He has two grandkids now and, being one of 11 kids to Jim and Edna, he’s expecting a whole lot more.
“Us Danihers, we can breed, so more power to my kids,” he said laughing.
Written with journalist Warwick Green, the book is much more than a book for the grandkids.
Another apt title would’ve been The Amazing Neale Daniher.
Amazingly funny. Amazingly stoic. Amazingly brave. Amazingly generous.
Just bloody amazing.
It was written for post-death, but really it’s about living life. More to the point, it’s about confronting the good and bad that life throws at you.
Daniher’s path is well documented.
Family. Farm. Playing. Coaching. And MND. Suffering from it and picking a fight with it by helping to raise money to find a cure.
“The book has got in it a lot (of what) I did, but I tried to include some life lessons and life observations,” Daniher said at the book launch in the Long Room at the MCG on Thursday.
“There’s a saying, life’s not about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.
“My grandkids will walk their own journey.
“I might not be around, but I’d like to leave a few signposts for them.
“They might totally ignore them, but maybe, maybe, with the journey I’ve walked, they might look at the signposts every now and then.”
Soon, there will only be memories and signposts.
It’s five years now with MND, a disease that usually takes people between six months and three years from diagnosis.
In some ways, the book was an opportunity for Daniher to write his own eulogy.
His wife, Jan, tries not to think about the inevitable.
“I think about it, but when I do I just keep busy,” she said. “I try to block it out.
“But it’s getting harder. The more developed the disease gets and more movement he’s losing and his breathing and his speech, you think about it a lot more.
“But to have something there for the grandchildren, because he knows he’s not going to be there for them, it’s great to have.”
Tim Watson was the MC at Thursday’s launch.
An old mate and former Essendon teammate, Watson took the piss, because that’s what mates do.
“There are two things I think you need to do if you’re going to write a book,” Watson said. “You need to have a great story and you need to have a big, big, very big ego to write about yourself. Neale has been able to do both.”
More serious, Watson had read the manuscript some time back and it clearly left its mark.
“He is, I think, a true-life hero,” Watson said.
“This book expresses Neale beautifully, the authenticity of the man and also the wisdom of the man.
“It’s an inspirational book. I loved reading it. And it’s not the last time I will read the book and you will understand when you pick up a copy.
“Every family should have a copy of this book on their shelf.”
Daniher’s words are often choking, but he only choked up once on Thursday.
It was when he spoke about his dad, Jim, who died on the farm at Ungarie in country New South Wales last April.
Edna, 85, was in the Long Room on Thursday.
She almost didn’t make it because she has a chest infection.
Asked what she was thinking when her son was talking on stage, she harked back to a moment almost 50 years ago.
“I was thinking of when I sent him to boarding school in Year 7,” she said.
“I sent him away to Goulburn in Year 7.
“I cried all the way home after we dropped him off. He was only a little boy at this big school and I keep telling him it was going to be the making of him. I did the right thing. Maybe I was just trying to make myself feel better.”
She was not surprised by her son’s campaign against MND.
“Knowing Neale as we do know Neale, we understand he would do something like that.”
The book is 368 pages long and the names of chapters include: “Don’t be too hard-arsed”, “Save the little white lies for Grandma’s cake”, “Know where you come from” and “When you’re dying, everyone thinks you’re a great bloke”.
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There’s also a list of his 30 favourite songs, including Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin, Living in the 70s by Skyhooks, Old Man by Neil Young and Mr Brightside by The Killers. Each song is connected to a person in or a period of his life.
For Jan, whose tireless commitment to Neale is largely untold, he selected a song by Van Morrison — Have I Told You Lately.
That song, and this book, is for the family and maybe for all of us.
WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE is on sale now. Available in all good book stores ... more info at https://www.nealedaniher.com/
Originally published as Neale Daniher’s book for his grandkids shows how amazing he is, writes Mark Robinson
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