My Story: Hawthorn firebrand James Sicily on his white-line fever and how he has found his calm

Alastair Clarkson was angry and intense when James Sicily arrived at Hawthorn. But what is the revered coach’s most obvious trait now? Sicily explains how his mentality has changed.

I probably knew as early as under-9s that I suffered from a bit of white line fever.

There was no tackling allowed, so I came up with a technique where I would occasionally trip my opponents up.

It was a bit cheeky and I got away with it a lot back then, but things are a different in the AFL.

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Passionate Hawks star James Sicily has found a way to enhance his calm on the footy field. Picture: Wayne Ludbey

I know I can sometimes let my emotions get the better of me on the field, but it’s something I’m working on. It’s about harnessing it in the right direction, because when it hurts the team it has to stop.

Our football boss Graham Wright put it to me plainly a while ago.

“Mate, you’ve got to stop doing this stuff,” he told me.

That was a big factor and there was also the financial side of things. Every time you check your bank balance and see $2500 fines going out courtesy of the MRO, you think: “OK, this needs to change.”

Everything is amplified in the AFL. There’s a lot of stress and anxiety around performance and not wanting to play poorly in front of thousands of people.

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I was trying to prove myself so in the early days of my AFL career I had a bit of a screw loose, but in the back half of last year and in our one game this year I’ve tried to tone it down a bit and just enjoy being out there.

I spent time with the club psychiatrist to figure out techniques and trigger words to try to calm down when I could feel myself getting a bit overwhelmed during games.

When you’re at that level of trying to get yourself to play on the edge, it can be tiring and you lose a bit of enjoyment in it all.

But that was then and I feel like I now have a much better handle on my emotions and can relax a bit more on the field.

There’s probably still going to be times when I slip up and get into a bit of strife, but as long as it’s a rarity then it will be a win — both for me and my bank balance.

James Sicily soars for a hanger while playing for the Western Jets.

EARLY DAYS IN THE WEST

Keilor was where I played local footy as I grew up in Melton.

I also played for the Sunbury Lions for about three years until about under-12s, so I had a few junior clubs.

Being a good western suburbs boy, I supported the Western Bulldogs.

Growing up I thought I wasn’t too bad as a player but then in my teenage years, everyone around me seemed to shoot up and I’d stay the same. I was a bit of a late bloomer.

It wasn’t until I was about 17 that I had a growth spurt and could compete a little bit better with guys my age. That was when I first thought I might be able to make a fist out of footy.

Until then I was a bit of an outsider. I didn’t really know the pathway to the AFL because I never made those rep teams.

When I was 17 I was pretty flashy and inconsistent, which probably described my first three or four years at Hawthorn.

Thankfully I managed to play a few games for Vic Metro at the under-18 championships, but even that was a reality check.

Training with and playing against the top junior talent made me realise I perhaps wasn’t as good as I thought I was.

In the back half of my TAC Cup year with the Western Jets, I pulled my finger out and played some better footy. Even still, I knew my prospects were late in the draft at best.

James Sicily with fellow 2013 draftees Dayle Garlett and Billy Hartung. Picture: Colleen Petch

BECOMING A HAWK

The family home in Melton with mum and dad was where I watched the 2013 national draft.

It was pretty low key because I didn’t know if I would be drafted, so I didn’t want to make a big deal of it.

That’s never been my style anyway.

I kept watching the whole way through the 10s, 20s, 30s, 40s and then into the 50s.

I’d see a few players that were picked and my competitive side was thinking, “Gee, I’m better than those blokes. What are they thinking?”

I thought it might not happen, but then Hawthorn read out my name at pick No.56 and that was a great feeling.

A fresh-faced James Sicily in his 2014 official club photo. Picture: AFL Media

Sicily celebrates a goal for Box Hill during the 2015 VFL Grand Final. Picture: George Salpigtidis

EARLY DAYS IN THE HAWKS’ NEST

I was 18 and walked into a club that had won the premiership two months earlier. I was very nervous and shy.

They then won the next two flags as well, so I felt I had no chance of getting a look into the team. At the time that was fine by me.

I consider myself very fortunate and lucky to have been drafted by Hawthorn, a club with a strong culture, good people and so much success.

I might not be where I am today if I was drafted to another club. I was raw, pretty flashy and inconsistent, and I wasn’t forced into the deep end at Hawthorn.

Because of the club’s success, it could afford to be patient with me and let me develop at my own speed.

Had I gone to a struggling club that needed players to make an impact straight away, I’m not sure I’d still be in the system. It’s just sort of the way it is at Hawthorn.

You do a little apprenticeship at Box Hill and progress into the senior side and stay there if you’re lucky.

I was happy to remain patient and I knew where I was at.

Coach Alastair Clarkson would always let you know he was watching.

Around the club during the week in the corridors or after VFL games, “Clarko” would appear and have a chat with you.

“Keep trying to string a few games together and you never know what might happen. You’re not as far off it as you think,” he would say.

Those words always helped with morale and motivation.

I played in two grand finals for Box Hill in 2014 and ’15, which we unfortunately lost.

But I just loved the experience of playing in big games, big atmosphere and crowds, and lots of pressure. I still do.

Those games were huge for my development, because matches at Box Hill were often pretty dour, cold and wet with a very small crowd.

To play in games like that and sort of play well was a huge confidence boost, because a VFL finals series is about as close as you’re going to get to AFL.

James Frawley’s shoulder injury paved the way for James Sicily to get on the ground early in his 2015 debut against Essendon. Picture: Wayne Ludbey

LONG-AWAITED DEBUT

I made my AFL debut with a green vest on — against Essendon at the MCG in Round 2, 2015.

It was back in the days of the sub rule, so I expected to maybe get some game time in the final term.

But James “Chippa” Frawley dislocated his shoulder so I was in by quarter-time.

I’ll never forget my first kick. It was a shocker. I was so nervous I turned it over and Grant Birchall sprayed me for it.

Welcome to the AFL.

“S … t, is this going to happen every time I turn it over?”

The nerves never left, but it was such an exciting experience.

Jarryd Roughead spotted me up just outside 50 for my first goal.

I only played three games in 2015, but then the next year “Roughy” unfortunately got crook with his melanoma and that opened the door for me.

It was my opportunity and I tried to make the most of it played 22 games that year.

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As a forward in his early years, Sicily would turn to Jack Gunston for advice. Picture: Colleen Petch

FORWARD THEN BACK

After being drafted as a forward, I picked the brains of Jack Gunston, “Roughy” and Luke Breust.

You naturally follow the blokes in your position, so whenever the chance arose I’d ask how they went about certain things.

Growing up I played forward, midfield and a bit of wing because of my light frame.

I’d certainly be surprised if you told me that today I’d be playing down back.

“Clarko” broke the news during the off-season going into 2018.

He sat me down and asked: “How do you feel about playing defence?”

He said he saw a bit of Andrew Mackie in me and thought I could play a similar role.

It was certainly a shock, but I had been playing forward and been inconsistent.

I’d have one good game a month, so I was excited to take on a new position and try to gain some consistency.

My first game down back was a NAB Cup clash against Carlton and not knowing what the hell was going on.

I went back forward and a few weeks later had another crack in defence against Adelaide.

I played pretty well that time and that helped me realise I could play defence.

It certainly helped having Luke Hodge and some other great defenders around me as well.

In terms of learning the craft, the coaches would instruct where they’d want me to set up and then I would just play instinctively.

I wanted to back myself in and not overthink things and that holds true to this day.

James Sicily says master coach Alastair Clarkson has changed and evolved throughout his time at Hawthorn. Picture: AAP

CLARKO AND I

Alastair Clarkson has been my one and only senior coach at Hawthorn.

“Clarko” is always changing and evolving.

In the past, he was probably angrier and more intense and used to give the boys a fair whack when things weren’t going to plan because he knew how good they were.

At the moment the list is a bit younger, so while he is still very passionate he is more encouraging.

He always has a grasp of knowing what is needed with his list.

Very rarely is he angry these days. He supports, is encouraging and inclusive.

He’s a ripper.

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THE MIGHTY GOLFING HAWKS

WE have a huge golf culture at Hawthorn, which adds to the connection and mateship around the club.

I hate to admit it, but Mitch Lewis is our best golfer. He plays off scratch so there’s really no one close to him.

Each year of a group of about 14 of us go to Barnbougle in Tasmania to play during bye week.

Jack Gunston, Luke Breust and I have a running bet on who can have the lowest handicap by the end of each year.

Luke won it last year so we had to buy him a bottle of wine, but that’s all right.

We’re all competitive and around the same handicap, which hovers at around six to eight.

The ban on golf in Victoria has certainly been a challenge. Hopefully we can get back out there soon.

Both on the course and the footy field.

Originally published as My Story: Hawthorn firebrand James Sicily on his white-line fever and how he has found his calm