Port Adelaide AFLW coach Lauren Arnell opens up the birth of her daughter and the 2024 season

In January Lauren Arnell became the first AFLW senior coach to give birth while in their role. She opens up on becoming a mother and Port Adelaide’s chances in the 2024 season.

Lauren Arnell is on Alberton Oval, smiling and providing instructions.

Her players are nowhere in sight.

The Port Adelaide AFLW coach’s advice is aimed at her youngest star – seven-month-old daughter, Marlie.

Days before the Power opens its 2024 season with a Showdown at its home ground, Arnell is sitting on the Alberton turf with her wife, Lexi, trying to get their cheeky girl to look at a camera.

Arnell always attempts to focus on the big picture and what is important in her coaching role.

As a new mum, it is the small things that she cherishes most.

“I love her laughs,” Arnell tells the Advertiser.

“She doesn’t stop babbling in the bath.

“It doesn’t really matter what happens in your day – and you hear about that, kids give you perspective – but each night at home, getting her dinner ready and having a play, bath time, the little stuff is the best”.

Port Adelaide AFLW coach Lauren Arnell, her seven-month-old daughter Marlie and wife Lexi. Picture: Brett Hartwig

Arnell had Marlie in January, becoming the first AFLW senior coach to give birth while in their role.

Power assistant and long-time friend Sam Virgo stood in during her maternity leave before the third-year coach returned to the fold for the start of pre-season.

Marlie has not been tagging along to the club as often as Arnell expected.

“It’s been a bit strategic because when she’s here, she’s got the majority, if not all of my attention,” she says.

Marlie is getting close to crawling, has two teeth and “certainly has the ability to be the loudest person in the room”.

Reflecting on her arrival still makes the couple emotional.

They endured two miscarriages, including one close to last year’s pregnancy, and had “countless moments where you wonder if you’re ever going to hold your baby”.

“There were a lot of tears,” Arnell says, wiping one away, as she recalls the moment they met Marlie.

“It was super special to finally see her, obviously after the long journey that we had to have her.

“There’s still people who aren’t as lucky as we are.”

Lexi adds: “It was a bit surreal”.

The name Marlie holds extra significance.

It was on the couple’s shortlist titled “Baby Names We Don’t Hate”, which had been whittled down due to their teaching backgrounds ruling out a bunch of less unique options.

Knowing it was going to be a girl, they ultimately chose to honour Arnell’s godmother, Marlene.

But they kept that secret until she came from Melbourne to visit them in hospital two days after the birth.

“She went through her own challenges in never being able to have kids and she and her husband (Ross) have been second parents to myself, my brother and sister for our whole lives, and she’s such an inspiring person,” Arnell says while her voice cracks with emotion.

“When they arrived and we said ‘actually, we do have a name’, it was just happy tears.”

Marlie Margaret Edwards was born on January 4, 2024

Arnell coaching the Power during the recent practice match against Melbourne. Picture: Sarah Reed/AFL Photos

Almost all of Arnell’s players visited her, Lexi and Marlie during those first few weeks.

It was during that time that Arnell, the club and her coaches mapped the pre-season, and how things would run in her absence.

“With pregnancy, you get a fair bit of planning time,” Arnell laughs.

“One thing I’m really fortunate in, almost everyone in our AFLW coaching group has young kids – five of the six of us.

“It means I’m really understanding of my coaching group and they’re really understanding of me.”

Arnell’s determination to give Marlie the best of herself every moment they are together and the same dedication to her coaches, staff and players has been a constant juggle.

“There’s mum guilt for me every day and then there’s coach guilt,” she says.

“There’s multiple thoughts each night where I go ‘have I done enough for Marlie? Have I done enough for my playing group?’

“If there’s a tricky bit along with the lack of sleep, that’d be it.”

Another challenge for the couple has been Lexi having to take a break from senior coaching.

The former Glenelg player had been at the helm of the Tigers for the past two seasons, guiding them to a preliminary final this year.

“It’s difficult because we’ve both tried to be so aspirational ... and are both so passionate about the game, and trying to drive the progress of women in football and women in coaching,” Arnell says.

“There’ll be a point in time where I can’t wait to support Lex to go back to senior coaching.

“The nature of our lives at the moment is unfortunately only one of us can do it at a time.”

Australian Opals basketball coach Sandy Brondello has become one of Arnell’s mentors. Picture: Adam Head

Lexi stepping down hits home even more for Arnell when she talks with pride about her coaching support network.

Australian Opals basketball coach Sandy Brondello is one of Arnell’s mentors.

Brondello steered the Opals to a bronze medal at the Paris Olympics last month and had taken New York Liberty to top spot so far this WNBA season.

They connected through South Australian basketball great turned Power women’s operations manager Rachael Sporn, a close friend of the US-based coach.

Brondello, a mother of two, was a sounding board during Arnell’s pregnancy and they were set to chat again next week.

“I’m an Olympics lover and there was a lot of it I sacrificed for sleep, but not the Opals,” Arnell says.

“I thought Sandy did an incredible job, particularly under massive adversity with Bec Allen sent home with an injury just prior to the Olympics, then the first game (loss).”

Golf Australia’s female pathways manager Stacey Peters is another of Arnell’s mentors, while the words of AFL commissioner Simone Wilkie often echo through the Port coach’s ears.

Particularly when the term ‘trailblazer’ is mentioned.

“Something I learnt from Simone a long time ago is to leave the ladder down for the next woman,” she says.

“That’s what these people continue to teach me – just because you happen to have one of the best jobs in the world, doesn’t mean you don’t have the humility and kindness to help the next person.

“(The notion of being a trailblazer) is really humbling and parenthood is really humbling every day.

“I’m just someone who’s fortunate enough and chosen to be a parent, and the humbling element is when you have moments that challenge you each day you just go ‘so many other people can do this and Lex and I are trying to be among them’.

“Hopefully it shows the next person that they’ll be OK too.”

Arnell during Erin Phillips’ final game last year. Picture: James Elsby/AFL Photos

Arnell says being pregnant while coaching last year was physically and emotionally tough.

She had to take a back seat from certain things, handing more over to her assistants.

Going into this season “not as exhausted, even with a lack of sleep, is pretty nice”, she says.

Change has also come in the coaching box and in the squad.

Ex-Brisbane defender Daniel Merrett joined as a full-time assistant and Anthony Gallomarino became head of high performance after moving from the South Australian Cricket Association, where he oversaw back-to-back Adelaide Strikers WBBL titles.

Merrett was one of Arnell’s line coaches when she played at the Lions, while Gallomarino had driven a focus on fitness and being 24-7 athletes since coming to Alberton.

The Power appointed ex-Fremantle defender Janelle Cuthbertson as its new captain in June, taking over from AFLW great Erin Phillips.

“Erin is an incredible person, an incredible Port Adelaide person,” Arnell says.

“Janelle’s more softly spoken but she goes about her business and is team-first.”

Port will lean on its experienced players, such as Cuthbertson, vice-captain Justine Mules-Robinson and leadership group members Ange Foley and Ash Saint, even more this season.

Gone are 39-year-old Phillips and 33-year-old key defender Hannah Dunn (pregnancy).

Recruits include four teenagers (SANFL junior guns Shineah Goody, Piper Window, Molly Brooksby and Alissa Brook), a 20-year-old (Central District product Caitlin Wendland), a 21-year-old (ex-GWS on-baller Teagan Germech), a 25-year-old (former triathlete Jo Miller) and a 30-year-old (ex-Western Bulldogs midfielder Kirsty Lamb), so the squad remains young.

The Power will be without 2022 league Rising Star recipient and club best-and-fairest winner Hannah Ewings for personal reasons, while highly-touted 18-year-old Lauren Young is sidelined for the season with a serious knee injury.

Port’s slow build recruiting approach differs from some other expansion clubs, including fellow 2022 newbies Sydney, Hawthorn and Essendon.

While the Swans and Bombers made the finals last season, Arnell’s side finished with just two wins and a draw, making its record 3-15-2 from its first 20 matches.

“It’s easy for people externally to compare and it makes sense to compare,” she says.

“But in reality I think we’re all in different spaces.

“We’ve seen Hawthorn go a bit older and have a big tip-out of older players the last year or two, whereas we’ve always been quite young.

“Now our young core is turning 20, 21 and for us it’s ‘let’s stay the course, be measured in what we do’.

“At the same time, we were quite frustrated with some results last year (two losses by eight points or fewer, one draw) where you walk away going ‘shoulda, coulda’.

“There’s some level of patience with some of it, then there’s a level of frustration.”

How patient will Port be when its mantra is it exists to win premierships?

An answer came earlier this month when the club reappointed Arnell until the end of 2025.

It was a show of faith in the team’s direction and considered important for a young squad, young coach and her young family.

“I’m fortunate that (Power football boss) Chris Davies … is telling me to focus on the really chunky stuff and what matters,” Arnell, 37, says.

“Ultimately, if you’ve got a core group of 19, 20-year-olds and all your messaging is based on wins and losses, while we do exist to win premierships … if everything was wins and losses, I probably wouldn’t have a job right now.

“So I have to coach development and prepare these players so that when we’re at a point with our fitness, our understanding, strength in the gym and maturity, that we are ready.

“I think other teams that have come from expansion have rushed that at times and chased early wins or early finals then bottomed out.

“This year will tell us a lot about the maturity of our group.

“Whether that’s the f-word (finals) or not, we just need to focus on actually winning to start with.”

Port begins its season by hosting its first home Showdown under lights on Saturday night.

Alberton Oval has had two temporary stands installed for the match and the club’s prison-bar jumper will make its AFLW debut in what Arnell expects will be really a special occasion.

New season, new guernsey, new timeslot, new stands and a new mum.

Arnell was always determined to be back here, continuing as senior coach, after having Marlie, to show other women and her daughter that pregnancy did not have to be a barrier.

“We’ve had amazing support, including from the footy club, from being pregnant to now … and Marlie’s thriving, so we couldn’t be luckier,” she says.

Originally published as Port Adelaide AFLW coach Lauren Arnell opens up the birth of her daughter and the 2024 season