AFL 2024: How Tim Membrey shed his mask to get through mental health battle

His surprise withdrawal from St Kilda’s final last year sent shockwaves through the AFL and Tim Membrey opens up on the heavy weight he carried through last year.

Tim Membrey would walk into work at St Kilda wearing a mask.

A 250-goal AFL forward, Membrey was weighed down and didn’t know who to trust during a mental health battle that came to a head in September last year.

He didn’t let teammates or coaches in, but instead thought he could shove his feelings to the side.

His wife, Emily, urged him to get help and speak up, but even in the AFL environment where he was surrounded by doctors and staff, Membrey didn’t know where to turn.

Tim Membrey has bounced back. Picture: Michael Klein

Now he is “coming out the other side”, Membrey has urged anybody dealing with mental health challenges to speak up and reach out for support.

Membrey was pulled out of St Kilda’s elimination final against GWS Giants in the first week of September, with coach Ross Lyon getting a call from a club doctor at 8.15am on game day telling him that the 29-year-old wasn’t in position to play football.

By that point, Membrey couldn’t push his fight to the side any more.

“Looking back on it now, it was something I had probably been dealing with for a long time and putting a mask on as well,” he said.

“I didn’t really know how to deal with what I was going through and who to speak to, who to trust.

“My wife certainly knew what was going on and she was pushing me to get help but at the same time, you can push as hard as you want but I just didn’t really know what to do or how to get help.

“Ultimately it just came down to, I had to get on top of it pretty quickly and thank God I did.”

Tim Membrey celebrates a goal during the pre-season. Picture: Dylan Burns/AFL Photos

Speaking publicly for the first time after his finals withdrawal, Membrey revealed he got stuck in his own head.

“I thought ‘I will be right’, I will keep going and push through it and it will be fine,” he said.

“It was more things would linger and I would ruminate about things and get caught in my own head, as simple as that.

“That is why it is so important to reach out and get help when you do need it and just to be open. It can lead you down so many paths and I find myself here today sharing my story and hopefully reaching out to other people to encourage them to deal with it.”

Feeling “well” again, Membrey has even more appreciation for Emily and his daughters Wren and Beau.

His teammates, too, have been “unbelievable” in their support.

“That has probably been one of the tougher things, when I look back on the experience with the girls going through it all,” he said.

“You get yourself in a headspace where you are not really thinking at times.

“Emily has been great support for me my whole life really.

“I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her.”

The Saints and Pies will play off in Spud’s Game in round 2. Picture: Michael Willson/AFL Photos

Membrey returned to training from the start of St Kilda’s pre-season and is all set to line up for his 161st game in round 1 alongside Max King at Geelong.

Should he remain in the side, Membrey will carry extra meaning into Spud’s Game in round 2 against Collingwood, which raises funds for the Danny Frawley Centre’s mental health initiatives.

And now he is himself – a father, husband and footballer – Membrey plans to leave that mask behind for good.

“I think the biggest thing now is just take the mask off and be who you want to be,” he said.

“The happiest you can be is when you are just in your own skin. Be proud of what you have done, be proud of what you have been through and coming out the other side I just feel like if you are in a good space and have people you are happy with and love and are close to, for me now that is all that really matters.”

Originally published as AFL 2024: How Tim Membrey shed his mask to get through mental health battle