Mum speaks out over daughter’s abuse: ‘She rose above her abuser at the age of four’

Our lives were crushed the moment our daughter said the words: “At kinder, the teacher comes with me to the toilet and sometimes touches me and laughs at me.”

We had a horrible gut feeling that our worst fear could be a reality when our four-year-old daughter’s behaviour suddenly regressed three years.

She was fearful of going to the toilet, she couldn’t go and would have accidents that she would keep hidden.

She would cry unless held, had troubles sleeping, refused to go to childcare, and for the first time became consistently aggressive.

We took her to the GP, spoke to the maternal childcare nurse and begged for someone to listen to us and work out what our child’s behaviour was saying.

She was experiencing something truly troubling. After a few weeks of extreme behaviour changes, she confirmed our worst fear.

Our lives were crushed the moment our daughter said the words: “At kinder, the teacher comes with me to the toilet and sometimes touches me and laughs at me.”

Our daughter refused to go to childcare and for the first time became consistently aggressive. Picture: iStock

Over the course of eight weeks, we got a little bit more information from her, bit by bit.

He physically abused her — hitting, punching and kicking — and threatened her with further consequences.

Our four-year-old daughter had to have STD testing which was one of the worst experiences we have ever had to go through.

Having to hold her down as she was screaming to have her blood drawn was one of the hardest moments.

The abuse happened in the toilet and he was able to do that because he was by himself – there was one educator for nine children.

We recorded her evidence, and have videos of her disclosing everything.

We went to the police and told them everything, and showed them the videos, but they said they couldn’t do anything until she is able to speak to them herself.

Considering that the police were used as a threat against her by her abuser, she was understandably too scared and traumatised to speak to them.

Our brave daughter wanted to speak to them, but when it came down to sitting the interview, she just couldn’t do it.

She may be ready to do that in the future, but it will be her decision.

Regardless of her choice, we will always support her.

We don’t want her to relive her trauma, she has told us she just wants to forget about it, and we want to let her do that.

She did her job, she told us and rose above her abuser at the age of four.

We know he did it and we’ve got proof but authorities can’t do anything

The system has let everyone down, the police have let her down, even though we don’t blame them.

We know he did it, and we’ve got proof, but they can’t do anything because she is too traumatised to talk about it.

The laws don’t allow for any action to be taken against him.

He has been seen at local parks and shopping centres alone by our friends, which has made us scared to leave our home while he gets to roam free.

The abuse was substantiated by the Commission for Children and Young People, the Victorian Institute of Teaching and the lawyers who investigated our case.

They did a proper investigation, and that should be enough.

They found he also had photos of children on his phone.

We want people to know this is not rare.

It’s actually very common — we don’t hear about it because children are silenced by our system just like ours has been. It’s the same old story.

We knew he wasn’t good, we knew something was wrong, and so did others.

We want changes to the system, we can’t let these people wander around parks and work with children.

We want someone to read this and give us hope for change and justice. We want help in our fight.

Originally published as Mum speaks out over daughter’s abuse: ‘She rose above her abuser at the age of four’