Open letter to Jelly Roll to play show at Queensland Country Bank Stadium

Dear Jelly Roll, consider this a formal invitation to play a show in Townsville. We’ve compiled a list of reasons to help you make the right choice.

Queensland Country Bank Stadium was awash with colour and excitement for P!nk's performance. Picture: Supplied.

Dear Mr Roll,

It seems almost certain you’re about to grace Australia with your first ever tour and before you make any rash decisions about which cities you intend on playing, we thought we’d do you a solid and help you make the right choice.

Sure there’s the obvious choices; Melbourne (too serious), Sydney (too many different types of nut milk), Brisbane (a poor man’s Sydney) and Perth (you might as well just go to Bali). But have you given serious consideration to what is often known as the Paris of Queensland – Townsville?

Here’a few reasons why we think you’d be as mad as a cut snake not to head north.

elly Roll, winner of the Country Tour of the Year Award, attends the 36th Annual Pollstar Awards at The Beverly Hilton on April 16, 2025 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images for Pollstar)

1. Tattoos: Judging by your impressive array of body art it’s an art form you appreciate. It’s a well-known fact that Townsville has more ink per square metre of flesh than any other city in the country, Gold Coast included.

2. Paparazzi: It’s clear that one of the major drawbacks of being wildly popular and appreciated for your talent is being hounded by cameras wanting to take your photo at every moment. We are almost certain there is not a single paparazzo in Townsville – and there’s no way our talented photographers will have any interest in chasing you around all over the city. Partly because it’s not our style, mostly because it’s way too hot.

3. Culture: Sure places like Brisbane have world class dining in stunning locations like Howard Smith Wharves but if you haven’t tried to peel your Havaiana thong off a dance floor in Flinders Street at 3am while Peter Andre’s Mysterious Girl plays, have you really lived? In addition to our far superior night-life did you know one of our national sporting teams is called the Cowboys? You do the maths.

P!NK performs at Townsville's Queensland Country Bank Stadium. Picture: Evan Morgan

4. Legacy: Your dear friend Pink played Townsville, you probably already know that, no doubt she can’t stop talking about what an absolute ball she had here. But did you know that we painted her very own mural? Without over promising and under delivering, you too could have a besser brick wall with your face on it. Maybe even a statue, if JT says it’s OK to share his spot.

6. Beach: It’s undeniable that Australia is known in part for its sea, surf and sand and no doubt you’ll want to partake in a bit of beachside folly with your lovely wife Bunny. So with that in mind you can cross Melbourne straight off the list – you’d have a better time swimming in the North Sea than having a dip St Kilda beach. Sure, the likes of Sydney can offer you those three things, but most days you’d be lucky to find enough sand to lay a towel there’s that many backpackers auditioning for a starring role on Bondi Rescue. As for us, sand we got. Sun, plenty of that too. Surf? No, not when there’s not a cyclone bearing down on us. If calm, azur oceans seem a bit pedestrian for you, at certain times of the year you do have to contend with potentially deadly jellyfish, so that’s always sure to get the heart pumping.

Brandon Flowers of The Killers performing to a packed crowed at Queensland Country Bank Stadium. Picture: Supplied

Originally published as Open letter to Jelly Roll to play show at Queensland Country Bank Stadium