Why Mother’s Day triggers and is a difficult day for these young women

Andrews Farm woman Holly Sampson was driving down to the beach on her graduation day when she suddenly got a bad feeling. Now Mother’s Day won’t ever be the same.

Holly Sampson was driving to the beach with friends after the final day of Year 12 when she got a bad feeling.

The 17-year-old was celebrating graduating from St Columba College at Andrews Farm when suddenly she decided to visit her mum, who was in hospital with a lung disease.

After Holly arrived, her mother, 54-year-old Cathy Sampson’s breath became harboured and she died holding her youngest child’s hand.

“I am grateful that I was there,” the now-21-year-old Andrews Farm woman said.

“I would have felt like I missed out on that last chance to say goodbye to her and also we were saying it was okay … it really helped me with grief as well.”

Holly Sampson lost her mum Cathy to lung cancer, when she was 17 years old. Picture: Supplied

Holly when she was young with her mum Cathy. Picture: Supplied

Holly, who has two older siblings, said there are so many moments she finds herself searching for her mother but she is no longer there.

She said she really wished she was alive to have met her new partner.

“I know that she would be so proud,” Holly said.

Holly knows she’ll feel a “massive gap” without her mother when she gets married and has kids.

“I can’t get her advice and she won’t be here to see those things,” she said.

Holly Sampson with her partner. Picture: Supplied

Holly continues to search for her mum although she is no longer here. Picture: Supplied

Iris Leeson was 19 when her mother Angela Hodgson died in their family home after a battle with cancer.

“When you’re 19, you don’t really understand what’s going to happen, you don’t realise the magnitude of it,” the now 33-year-old said.

“There’s so many things I wish I had done. I don’t have any photos of my mum, I don’t have any voice recordings, I don’t have any videos.”

The Christies Beach woman said the death of her 53-year-old adoptive mother continues to impact her.

After the birth of her son Dylan, she noticed just how much.

“I have to rely on my friends a lot more than what everyone else had to and it really annoys me that I have to,” Ms Leeson said.

She said her friends have their mothers to help them with childcare but she doesn’t have the same help or guidance.

Iris Leeson holding a picture of her mum Angela Hodgson who died when Iris was 19, while she’s pregnant with her first child, Dylan. Picture: Supplied

Mother’s Day, which falls on Sunday, May 11, this year, has historically been difficult for both Holly and Iris ever since they lost their mothers.

The women are members of Motherless Daughters Australia, a group co-founded by Melbourne woman Danielle Snelling after she lost her own mother Rosa to a rare gynaecological cancer when she was only 23 years old.

Iris Leeson, pregnant with her first child Dylan Carter. Picture: Supplied

Danielle Snelling, when she was younger with her mother Rosa Snelling, who passed away when she was 56. Picture: Supplied

“It was one of those surreal moments where everything in my world completely stopped,” the now-36-year-old said.

“It was like my world came to a halt and yet the rest of the world was just existing, just continuing on around me.”

Ms Snelling went looking for support following her mother’s death but couldn’t find any.

Eventually she met her co-founder Eloise Baker and Motherless Daughters Australia was born.

“She also felt really lonely and isolated and didn’t really have anyone in her life who understood and who had been able to support her … we thought there had to be more people, more girls, more women out there, who had also lost their mum,” Ms Snelling said.

Motherless Daughters Australia is uniquely tailored to women and girls whose mums have died. The organisation creates resources and first of their kind events for those people to support them through their grief.

“We’re really passionate about transforming the grief landscape so that it’s not clinical,” Ms Snelling said.

Originally published as Why Mother’s Day triggers and is a difficult day for these young women