Submissions to SA’s domestic, family and sexual violence royal commission reveal horrific treatment

Bizarre and controlling behaviours are among the horrors detailed to an SA inquiry in a series of shocking letters. Read the details.

Women have told of being burned with a lighter, dragged from their car, strangled and punched in a series of shocking letters to a landmark inquiry into violence.

Others have described extremely controlling behaviours from husbands or partners who locked them in their houses, hid remote controls and banned them from using household appliances.

They are revealed in more than 380 written submissions to South Australia’s domestic, family and sexual violence royal commission, which is due to report in August.

In one case a woman submitted a statement she gave to SA Police about an incident in 2023 when her then-partner burned her with a lighter following an argument.

She said she had shut herself in their bedroom but the handle was missing, leaving a hole in the door.

When she reached out to turn off the light switch she said her partner “put the jet lighter through the door handle hole in the door and burnt my arm”.

The pair got into a physical fight and she “stomped” on his phone.

When she later tried to leave the house he “grabbed me by the front of my neck … and pushed me up against the wall”, she said.

“I could not breathe,” she wrote, adding that their two young sons were in a room nearby.

Another woman said her partner of more than four years “forced (her) to perform sexual acts on … his terms only”.

He would not let her hug other men, even relatives.

She had to phone him every time she left work and was “only allowed to use a certain hairbrush” to ensure her hair looked as he liked.

While she knew his “behaviour was extremely degrading and disrespectful” she remained in the relationship “partly because I was so starved of love and affection, and because he always knew exactly what to say to convince me that it would improve”.

In a third case a woman explained how her partner “banned” her from using the clothes dryer and would “hide the remote controls” so she could not use appliances.

“He used to come close to hitting me, but took his aggression out on furniture instead,” she wrote. “I wanted to leave several times but I did not have the money.”

Natasha Stott Despoja at the Domestic Violence royal commission at the Attorney-General's Department. Picture: Dean Martin

Other cases include:

A WOMAN married to a male police officer who used “choking holds” on her.

A 16-YEAR-old-girl who said she and her siblings were forced to spend time with their abusive father as part of custody arrangements.

A MOTHER and young daughter “thrown out of home with (only) the clothes on their backs by a violent partner”.

A MUM of two whose former husband “held a fist to my face and told me I was the worst mother in the world’.

The $3m year-long royal commission is being led by former Senator and Our Watch chairwoman Natasha Stott Despoja.

Treasurer Stephen Mullighan has committed to deliver funding to act on her recommendations.

For support phone 1800 RESPECT.

Originally published as Submissions to SA’s domestic, family and sexual violence royal commission reveal horrific treatment