Retiring children’s commissioner Helen Connolly shares tips on how to let “kids be kids” again

Is a carefree childhood really a thing of the past? The state’s retiring children’s commissioner says “childhood has changed” and shares her views on how we fix it.

The thing children really want is freedom, SA’s outgoing children’s commissioner says. Picture: iStock

As the voice for South Aussie kids for eight years, Helen Connolly has learned a thing or two about kids and how they view their childhood in 2025.

The retiring Children’s Commissioner says “childhood has changed” and things must shift for “kids to be kids” again.

“The thing children really want is freedom (away from their parents) … but that doesn’t happen anymore; they don’t get to play independently – parents take them places and they play with the parents there,” she said.

Commissioner for Children and Young People Helen Connolly is stepping down after eight years in the role. Picture: Kelly Barnes

“(Parents are saying through their actions), we can’t trust other people to be around you, we need to be there all the time, we need to be able to problem-solve for you.

“Parents are so obsessed with safety, the messaging kids are getting is ‘the world is unsafe’ … kids are now talking about not feeling safe a lot more than they were eight years ago.

“(To restore a carefree childhood), will require adults to make an active decision on how they can allow kids to have more freedom.”

Connolly says it’s critical, too, for children to feel positive about the future with kids increasingly talking about being anxious and stressed.

“There’s been a shift in how kids view adulthood, they now see it as a time of being really worried and stressed … families are under pressure and kids are picking up on that and thinking, ‘I don’t want to be an adult’,” she said.

“We need to build a sense that the future is going to be a positive place … all kids want to have the sense they are good at something … for them it is all about the future and getting better and we need to keep on building on that.

“All kids also need to be heard and to be listened to … rather than as adults constantly filling the space with what we think, we need to take the time to ask for their opinion.

“We need to reach out and take notice and not just tell kids to ‘tell an adult’ … we have to notice when something doesn’t seem right and we need to keep on asking ‘are you OK? Is there anything I can do to help? Is there something you want from me?”

Invisible kids doing it tough

Urgent action is needed to help a generation of “virtually invisible” South Australian kids, including new laws to protect them from being “discriminated against in education settings”, says the outgoing Commissioner for Children and Young People Helen Connolly.

In her final report after eight years in the role – the first to hold the position in SA – she reveals 5000 SA children aged under 15 sought help at the state’s homelessness services in just 12 months while more than 15 times that number are being prevented from thriving in the classroom due to poverty.

She points also to disadvantages faced by tens of thousands of young people who are acting as a carer for a family member.

“My role as commissioner has been eye-opening … I have learnt that many children and young people in the state are missing out on what others their age are able to take for granted,” she said. She says the situation is so bad a “Child Poverty Act”, to establish “key child poverty reduction measures, indicators and targets”, ought to be drafted. She also wants a “Minister for Children and Young People”, similar to Victoria, and the introduction of “an independent appeals mechanism for when children and young people are discriminated against in education settings”.

“For these children and young people there are significant systemic challenges that will continue to impact on their lives now and in the future, unless structural changes are made,” she said.

“Children, young people and their families need to be able to appeal to an independent position or body when their right to education is significantly impeded … (including in) relation to unfair exclusions and suspensions.”

In the sobering report titled “Missing Out” she also highlights how kids with a parent in prison, those living with chronic illness or disability as well as young people with carer responsibilities are negatively impacted.

“The invisibility many of these groups of children and young people experience is often exacerbated … they are often encouraged to keep their experiences secret,” she said.

According to her report, almost 76,000 children up to the age of 14 are experiencing “participation poverty”, preventing them from taking part in activities many other kids take for granted, even having a packed lunch.

It is estimated that 4600 children aged 14 and under are charged with being a carer for a family member with 18,000 young people aged between 15 and 24 holding the same role.

“Many South Australian children and young people with carer responsibilities have told (me) the dealings they have at their school are less than ideal … too many are experiencing discrimination.”

Originally published as Retiring children’s commissioner Helen Connolly shares tips on how to let “kids be kids” again