Wooley: Touch of mirth relieves sombre tone in court

Any reporter who has spent time covering courts will no doubt recall a few amusing lines, writes Charles Wooley.

Bruce Lehrmann emerges from court on April 15, 2024 in Sydney, Australia. Justice Michael Lee has ruled in favour of Network Ten and journalist Lisa Wilkinson in Bruce Lehrmann's defamation case. Picture: Don Arnold/Getty Images

Federal Court judge Justice Michael Lee’s ruling was “a Daniel come to judgment” moment this week.

Long after the sordid events of the Higgins/Lehrmann case have been forgotten (sooner the better) Lee’s definitive phrase for Lehrmann’s unwise pursuit of a defamation action, after his aborted criminal trial, will never be forgotten.

“Having escaped the lion’s den, Mr Lehrmann made the mistake of coming back for his hat.”

Judges have to be careful with playful language in court. The serious nature of many cases, especially in criminal matters like murder and rape, preclude any lighthearted banter. But civil cases like Lehrmann’s defamation suit leave a little more giggle room in which Justice Lee was, when appropriate, happy to play.

Bruce Lehrmann emerges from court on April 15, 2024 in Sydney. Justice Michael Lee has ruled in favour of Network Ten and journalist Lisa Wilkinson in Bruce Lehrmann's defamation case. Picture: Don Arnold/Getty Images

Lehrmann’s assertion was that he had returned to the parliamentary office late that fateful night only to study papers concerning the purchase of French submarines. But the judge made it clear he regarded Lehrmann as a 23-year-old man cheating on his girlfriend with a woman he found attractive and knew was drunk.

The situation elicited these bon mots from Justice Lee.

“There was one thing on his mind, and it had nothing to do with French submarines.”

With worldly wit, the judge assured the court that: “Human experience suggests that what he wanted to happen is not exactly shrouded in mystery.”

Any reporter who has had to spend their early days court reporting has as consolation for time wasted, a few amusing lines.

Justice Michael Lee gives judgment on Lehrmann vs Channel 10 defamation case, on April 15, 2024. Picture: Supplied

Mine was from so long ago I can hardly remember the details, except that it was a divorce case in those dark days when culpability was part of the unpleasant process.

In a Tasmanian courtroom the legendary QC Reginald Wright had to argue that an adulterous affair was conducted within the confines of a parked VW beetle.

The judge was somewhat sceptical that there was enough space in such a small car for any amorous cavorting.

But quick as a flash Reg Wright intoned in his famous sonorous drawl: “Ahhh but your worrship misunderrstands the arrdorr with which these matterrs are purrsued.”

The late Reg Wright served a long political career in the Senate where he still holds the record for “crossing the floor” to vote against his own party 150 times. Suggesting he had much higher purpose and probably better judgment than his counterparts today.

It occurred to me during the long-drawn-out proceedings in the Sydney Court this week that Reg Wright would have been in his element as the judge.

As it was, Justice Lee did a fine legal job and still managed to elicit a few laughs, pretty much along the same lines I remember from Reg.

Legal humour apparently doesn’t change. The sombre mood of the courtroom has always afforded some chuckles at the most basic and inescapable impulses of our feckless human lives.

The Higgins/Lehrmann imbroglio was so ghastly, Justice Lee was right to confer the relief of laughter.

The opening of the Marlborough Road connecting Great Lake and Bronte in 1937. Picture shows the new road where it joined the road to Launceston, on the left, and Hobart on the right. Mercury Historical Archive Collection

FROM BRONTE PARK in the very centre of Tasmania come complaints about the state of the 40km of Marlborough Rd, which connects the Lyell Highway from the south to the Lake Highway in the north.

The Marlborough used to be designated a highway and was a federal responsibility.

Now it’s been downgraded to the status of road. And by the state of it you might think no one is responsible. And even the term ‘road’ is still an overstatement. Local trout guide Greg Beecroft calls it the “Marlborough goat-track” and is planning to print T-shirts to sell in the Bronte General Store to brave wayfarers who survive the journey.

Long-term local Wayne Turale told me: “I’ve lived here for 30 years and never before seen it this rough from one end to the other.

“It’s damaging our vehicles at even 40km per hour. I refuse to tow my boat on it. It’s truly dangerous.”

Bronte Park shop owner Shane Hedger shows how bad the state of the Marlborough Rd is, by pointing out a big rock in the middle of one of its sections. Picture: Supplied

The pictures Wayne took for me say a thousand words. In places the road looks like a creek bed.

Good thing Tassie is a small place. Jane Howlett, the new Liberal member for Lyons, rang me this week to see if I could make a favourable mention in this column of my Sorell Mayor, Kerry Vincent, who is standing for the Leg. Co seat of Prosser.

I told her I couldn’t. Journalistically it would be improper and besides as deputy mayor of the happy shire of Sorell, I don’t want to lose Kerry. Nor do I want to be mayor.

Instead, I told her about the appalling state of our central Tasmanian link road and described its deepest pothole. She assured me she would look into it.

Jane is a terrier with an issue, so I hope my work here is finished.

Bronte Park shop owner Shane Hedger gives an indication of how big some of the exposed rocks on Marlborough Road are, by lining up one of them next to his shoe. Picture: Supplied

I had gone to Bronte this week to hide from the many troubles of the world, but trouble followed me. Shane the shopkeeper kept running a commentary on the passing traffic. “Small, low-slung cars and rental buzz-boxes are taking a big risk.” He reckoned half of them “would turn back when the bitumen suddenly turned to loose gravel, potholes and bedrock”.

And he was right. As I sat there on the veranda drinking Shane’s coffee, which he assures me is the best in Bronte Park, I counted them out and counted half of them back in again.

They sped through town without stopping so I have no idea where they had been headed and what now was their alternative route. They would soon find there is none.

The hilarious answer you get in Ireland when you ask directions, “Oh, you can’t get there from here”, is actually true on the Tassie Plateau.

This series of potholes on Marlborough Road, is an indication of the current terrible state of the road. Picture: Wayne Turale

If you are headed for the Great Lake, Deloraine or Launceston and turn back, it will be an hour-and-a-half trip south back down the Lyell Highway towards Hobart before you can find the Midland Highway and an equally long trip towards Launceston.

Alternatively, if our despondent travellers were bound for the North-West Coast, they could turn west on the Lyell Highway to Queenstown and eventually get to Burnie that way. A very long and winding trip which might only be redeemed by the delights of a night in Zeehan.

Tragically, were the lost voyagers to ask Google for the best route (assuming they can get reception) they would be helpfully pointed to the quickest and most convenient link road, the Marlborough.

With a touch of Ireland, Google is simply telling them: “You can’t get there from here.”

Charles Wooley is a Tasmania-based journalist