Wooley: If I have to vote on a stadium I will vote for the least worst option

In our quaint de facto socialist state of Little Cuba, Stadium 2.0 introduces the revolutionary concept of private enterprise investment to cover most of the cost, writes Charles Wooley.

A concept drawing of a new design for a proposed Macquarie Point stadium by the Stadia Precinct Consortia led by Dean Coleman and Paul Lennon. Picture: SolutionsWon

As the phrase attributed to the great opinion writer H.L. Mencken indelicately puts it: “Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one.” Over the years of writing here I have always realised that, unlike Mencken, my opinion column is just so much ineffectual jotting in the margins of local history. Most journalists are forever condemned to snipe from the sidelines. Rarely do they step into the fray, and if they do, it usually ends badly.

Daringly I did intend to announce today that I would approach Jacqui Lambie (the only Tasmanian senator whom Tasmanians can actually name) to put myself up for the state seat of Lyons with her Jacqui Lambie Network party, and in a parliament controlled by independents I should become the Tasmanian Minister for Trout.

Easy.

In office I planned to fish diligently.

But that’s now a story for another day, because late this week I got a call from the man of the hour, man of the year, perhaps man of the decade: Tasmanian-born engineer Dean Coleman, who promises we can have our cake and eat it too, without paying for most of it.

With his Macquarie Point 2.0 stadium design, in our quaint de facto socialist state of Little Cuba, Coleman introduces the revolutionary concept of private enterprise investment to cover most of the cost, at the same time guaranteeing to cap the total taxpayer component at $750m.

It’s still a fair old sum when you look at the zeros: $750,000,000.

A concept drawing of a new design for a Macquarie Point stadium proposed by the Stadia Precinct Consortia led by Dean Coleman and Paul Lennon. Picture: SolutionsWon

But that is a relatively small component when you zero in on Coleman’s much more costly $2,300,000,000 integrated urban renewal scheme for which you won’t be paying.

The plans have already got the tick from the RSL and from the Federal Group. The 2.0 design doesn’t overwhelm the nearby Cenotaph, nor does it compromise the historical Hobart waterfront. Federal Group executive general manager Daniel Hanna said the proposal was an impressive design in a more appropriate location. “The alternative stadium proposal is an example of a modern development that will not impact the heritage values of the Hunter St and Evans St precinct of the Hobart waterfront,” Hanna said.

The new vision has been widely published this week, and even if you still don’t like the idea at least you don’t need to fund it.

It will be mostly commercial investors’ money and not yours.

How incredibly un-Tasmanian (but in a good way).

Paul Lennon and managing director of Stadia Precinct Consortia Dean Coleman at Macquarie Point. Picture: Chris Kidd.

For the past year most of us have been uneasy about the Tasmanian taxpayer-funded Macquarie Point colosseum. No one ever believed the project would be delivered anywhere near budget. Still, it was enthusiastically backed by the usual commercial rent-seekers. But none of them seemed prepared to have skin in the game. The project appeared to be planned, designed and decreed by the AFL and Gillon McLachlan, who turned out to be so much more than just an Australian sports administrator. We can only assume he must also have been an engineer-architect, infrastructure expert, traffic planner, financial genius – and also, a hypnotist, judging by how he put the ’fluence on Rocky.

“When you awake you will forget what I have done to you, but from now on whenever anyone mentions the word ‘stadium’ you will say, ‘My whole political career has been for this one great achievement. This is the biggest thing to happen for Tasmanians in the last 20,000 years, since the sea rushed in and separated us from the mainland. It’s bigger than Mona and even bigger than the giant spud of Sassafras.’.”

Dean Coleman seems to have broken the hypnotic spell.

Tasmanian Premier Jeremy Rockliff, left, during the official announcement for the 19th AFL licence for a Tasmanian team in May this year, with Richard Marles, who was Acting Prime Minister at the time, and AFL chief executive Gillon McLachlan at North Hobart Oval. Picture: Chris Kidd

The premier snapped awake this week. “We will, of course, scrutinise the Stadium 2.0 proposal,” Rocky said.

He was “open-minded and looked forward to further detail being presented”.

Which is of course another way of saying: “This might be the way to get us off the hook, just in case we don’t lose the next election and are unlucky enough to still be in power when the pigeons come home to roost on the colosseum.”

Back in the 1980s when Tasmanians were fiercely divided over a dam on the Franklin River, we were given two election options: a Gordon below Franklin, and a Gordon above Franklin; a bad option and a least-worse option.

Neither came to pass, but I suspect history is coming back to haunt us. And if I have to vote, I will vote for Dean Coleman’s least-worse option.

I have pored over the plans this week and grudgingly admit to quite liking many of its commercial features, including the 39,000 square metres set aside for much-needed private hospital development. There will also be private hotel integration with the hospitals.

Dean Coleman points out that medi-beds for recovering patients cost $1650 per night in a hospital, as opposed to $250 per night in an adjacent hotel.

Not for football alone, this is a multipurpose venue with 5000-plus parking spaces. I’m not sure how easy it will be to drive there, but then the only practical solution for Hobart’s traffic problems would be to build another dam. The Derwent below Hobart.

A concept drawing of a new design for a Macquarie Point stadium proposed by the Stadia Precinct Consortia led by Dean Coleman and Paul Lennon. Picture: SolutionsWon

I must admit I don’t really mind those 450 three-bedroom apartments to be built for moneybags investors. Their property investment will account for almost $300m of the cost of the stadium complex, and the real estate sales tax will contribute to the government’s flagging bottom line.

The buyers will fork out about $2.4m each. Will we really hate them any more than we resent all those budget tourists stacked aboard the 160 cruise ships coming to Hobart this year?

At least the filthy rich will spend money during their stay and pay rates and taxes.

Yeah, I know this is supposed to be a Lefty progressive column, but let’s face it kiddies, capitalism is the only game in River City these days, and although the rich will always win in the end, at least we should get them to pay the ante to get into the game.

Before Coleman’s better-thought-out option, the government was letting them play with your money as well as taking their profits.

I cannot fit all the detail of the Coleman proposal in this column. You can study it yourself by going to www.stadiaprecinct.com.

But I will save you from asking a silly question by asking it myself.

“Dean, the people paying more than a couple of million bucks for those lovely apartments might have the best views in town, but how will they cope with the noise from a footy game or a rock concert?”

“Charlie, those luxury apartments have state-of-the-art acoustic insulation. They won’t hear a thing.”

Charles Wooley is a Tasmanian-based journalist.