Unwritten Dating club shows alternative to dating apps

Sydneysiders disillusioned with dating apps and daunted by the prospect of approaching someone new in a bar are turning to dinner parties and dating clubs in efforts to find a life partner.

Sam Norton and Devon Verberkmoes mingle at an Unwritten Dating club event for 30-45 year olds at The Wine Library in Woollahra. Picture: Max Mason-Hubers

Sydneysiders disillusioned with dating apps and daunted by the prospect of approaching someone new in a bar are turning to dinner parties and dating clubs in efforts to find life partners.

A 2024 YouGov on Australians’ dating habits revealed one in seven singles are sceptical about finding a serious relationship online – or are not willing to fork out money for additional personalisation on apps such as Tinder, Bumble and Hinge.

The same survey said almost a quarter of singles open to finding a romantic partner would rather meet someone in person – and that is where war reporter turned matchmaker Laura-Jane Hawkins decided to step in.

The former journalist, who accompanied Prince Harry on one of her three tours of Afghanistan, is now engaged in the battle to help single people find a soulmate.

Laura-Jane Hawkins. Picture: Max Mason-Hubers

After departing her most recent public relations gig, Ms Hawkins launched Unwritten Dating – a dating club with heart and purpose.

“There are some other singles events in Sydney but people see them as hook-up events, not really the place you might go to look for a life partner,” Ms Hawkins said.

“There wasn’t anything that was more genuine and sophisticated – if people are going to spend their time going to a dating event, they want it to be something enjoyable.”

Ms Hawkins uses matchmaking software to vet people serious about relationships for priorities and deal-breakers, and sets them up to meet people through different table configurations before they receive an envelope containing their ideal match at the night's end.

“The goal is to meet someone you have a spark with,” Ms Hawkins said.

“There can be a lot of pressure at some singles events, they can be really daunting – the whole point was to create events where it’s fun, sophisticated, civilised, and you know there are people who genuinely want to meet a life partner.”

Attendees mingling at the Wine Library. Picture: Max Mason-Hubers

Out of 13 pairs at her first event, Ms Hawkins has already had five matches.

“People are out of practice with flirting because of dating apps, which have really changed the dating scene and sucked out the fun,” Ms Hawkins said.

“People are so tired, and really are missing the human connection – they’re looking for years to meet new people who are like-minded.”

Devon Verberkmoes attended an Unwritten Dating wine tasting at Woollahra’s Wine Library, saying she thought many people had similar frustrations with the dating scene.

“I think more and more people are frustrated with the apps, it is nice to see people in real-life settings straight away,” she said.

“Chatting to someone from the get-go instead of messaging over a few days and then waiting for him to ask you out … this is a better way to do it.”

Fellow attendee Samuel Norton said dating apps had never particularly appealed to him either.

“I feel like they are impersonal and base people of face value, it defeats the point of connection,” he said.

Unwritten Dating’s most recent event. Picture: Max Mason-Hubers

“You are connecting through a digital device and feel separated from the start – I like the chemistry factor that comes with meeting someone in person.”

Unwritten Dating is hosting a singles supper club on October 18 for 35-50 year olds, a singles wine tasting for people aged 40+ on October 24, and pickleball dating on November 16.

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Originally published as Unwritten Dating club shows alternative to dating apps