Survivors of child sexual abuse issue urgent plea for more specialised support

Survivors of the “worst crime on earth” have issued a desperate plea as people are tragically taking their own lives long before they’re able to receive care.

WARNING: Distressing content

Male survivors of child sexual abuse have warned that people are taking their lives long before they’re able to receive necessary care as support services buckle under demand.

Robert Rigby said he was just six years old when his adoptive father began to physically, mentally, and sexually abuse him in his home, at church, and on the family farm.

The abuse only ended when he ran away at 16 after being forced to work on the family farm for years following a suggestion from his principal that he be pulled out of school because he was constantly in trouble.

“I only lasted a few years on the farm before I couldn’t take his abuse anymore, and I ran away,” Mr Rigby told NewsWire.

“What actually went on behind closed doors was an absolute disgrace.”

Robert Rigby says he was just six years old when his adoptive father began to physically, mentally and sexually abuse him. Picture: Supplied.

Living on the streets for years, Mr Rigby was in and out of prison, living with drug and alcohol abuse issues for most of his life until the 2017 Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse gave him the opportunity to write down his experience and send in his story.

While no charges were ever laid against his adoptive father, Mr Rigby was given a detective’s report.

The harrowing report, seen by NewsWire, stated that if Mr Rigby’s adoptive father had still been alive, there would have been prima facie evidence to support sexual and physical offending.

“That report from the detective gave me my first sense of justice,” Mr Rigby said.

Following the Commission, Mr Rigby’s daughter brought him along to a workshop held by the Survivors & Mates Support Network (SAMSN), the country’s only specialist support organisation dedicated to male survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their families and supporters.

Mr Rigby said he was abused in his home, church, and on the family farm. Picture: Supplied.

He said listening to SAMSN’s chief executive officer, Craig Hughes-Cashmore, had been “gut wrenching” and made him cry “tears of sorrow” because he identified with Craig’s lived experience of child sexual abuse.

However, he said the experience also brought “tears of joy”.

“I was just so thankful that I did go, he was so inspiring to listen to,” Mr Rigby said.

From there he attended SAMSN’s eight-week support group.

While he was initially quiet and struggled to trust the other men, Mr Rigby quickly realised he wasn’t alone and that he had a voice, he would be understood, and he would be believed.

“Every human being has a voice that deserves to be heard,” he said.

He said it became clear to him that if it wasn’t for former prime minister Julia Gillard, who announced the 2017 Commission, and SAMSN, he and other men would have died with their stories untold.

“The worst crime on earth that was committed, and so many victims took their stories to their grave, and that is just so unfair,” Mr Rigby said.

Mr Rigby said if it wasn’t for services like SAMSN and the Royal Commission, survivors would take their stories ‘to their grave’. Picture: Supplied.

“Losing people”: Stark warning amid push for funding

However, support services like SAMSN are buckling under demand, with SAMSN CEO Mr Hughes-Cashmore earlier telling NewsWire “we’re losing people”.

He said a SAMSN colleague had recently called a man on the waitlist for the organisation’s support group only to learn he’d died by suicide.

“(It) breaks my heart,” Mr Hughes-Cashmore said.

“The same day we had another guy who was in hospital after trying to take his own life.”

While the federal government fund several services through the National Redress Scheme, Mr Hughes-Cashmore said SAMSN asked for additional funding in a pre-budget submission in order to reach all male survivors, including those not sexually abused in institutions.

He said there was a “real urgency” for more specialist services while acknowledging the critical and ongoing support from the government.

SAMSN CEO Craig Hughes-Cashmore said support services were buckling under demand. Picture: Supplied/Fiona + Bobby Photography, Sydney Corporate Commercial Photography.

“Some justice is better than none”

Mr Rigby urged survivors to reach out to SAMSN and also “put pen to paper”, because “at least it gets the trauma out of your head”.

Having held onto “atrocious” anger all his life following the abuse, Mr Rigby said he was extremely thankful for both the Royal Commission and SAMSN’s support.

“My temper has improved so much — I’m so thankful, because otherwise I would’ve stayed this angry until I died, which would’ve been so unfair,” he said.

He said while his adoptive father had passed away “without being held accountable for what he did”, being able to speak up through the Royal Commission and SAMSN could be a crucial part of recovery for survivors.

“I’ve realised now that every victim deserves the opportunity to speak up if they wish —to have some justice, whether their perpetrator is dead or alive,” he said.

“The fact that we can speak of who they were, what they did, that can be a huge part of our healing and recovery.

“And I look at it like this — some justice is better than none, and up until nine years ago I had received no justice.”

Finally, he urged parents to look out for signs of abuse: “We need to keep our children safe”.

Don’t go it alone. Please reach out for help.

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or lifeline.org.au

SAMSN: 1800 472 676 or samsn.org.au

Blue Knot Foundation: 1300 657 380 or blueknot.org.au

13YARN: Speak to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander crisis supporter on 13 92 76 or visit 13yarn.org.au

National Redress Scheme: 1800 737 377

Originally published as Survivors of child sexual abuse issue urgent plea for more specialised support