Six expert-backed books to help parents guide children through the social media ban
Australia's looming social media ban has left parents unprepared for the biggest shift in childhood since smartphones arrived, sparking urgent demand for expert guidance.
With Australia’s social media ban due to kick off this week, parents are questioning how they can guide their kids through the change – and engage them in ways that don’t involve a screen.
These books can help as they address why social media is so damaging, and how to set boundaries and encourage self-regulation. One may even lead parents to adjust their own behaviours, too…
The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt
Sometimes a book comes along that can change a generation. This may just be one of them. Haidt may not have been the first to say social media is harming our kids, but he was the first person who generated the impetus for the ban. So what makes his book such essential reading? Both its diagnosis and its urgency.
For starters, Haidt explains how modern childhood has been flipped upside down. Children today, he writes, are overprotected in the real world yet under-protected in the virtual world. Independence, free play and the challenges that build resilience have been swapped for social media algorithms and constant online comparison, which he connects to a sharp rise in teen anxiety, depression, sleep disruption and loneliness.
This book addresses the “why” while also giving tips as to “how”. For further topical content, consider signing up for Haidt’s excellent Substack newsletter.
10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World: How Parents Can Stop Smartphones, Social Media, and Gaming from Taking Over Their Children’s Lives by Jean Twenge, PhD.
When she published iGen in 2017, psychologist and researcher Dr Jean Twenge was one of the first to hypothesise that the adolescent mental health crisis may be due to smartphones and social media. But it was only when her own children reached adolescence – they’re now aged 18, 16 and 13 – that she realised the advice to parents was largely “vague and squishy”.
It’s why she’s just published 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World, which guides parents through when to give a child their first smartphone (spoiler: not before they get their driver’s licence), how to keep them from accessing social media before they’re ready and the best ways to set up effective parental controls.
Although Twenge is an academic – she’s also Jonathan Haidt’s research partner – this book is informed by her own parenting. As she says: “My philosophy is to try to help parents with concrete suggestions, because I really didn’t find a lot of that out there when we were trying to figure that out with our own kids.”
The Tech Diet for Your Child and Teen: The 7-Step Plan to Unplug and Reclaim Your Kid’s Childhood (And Your Family’s Sanity) by Brad Marshall
Why does your child explode when you tell them to stop gaming or, more forcefully, switch off the wi-fi? What can you do when they say they’re doing homework… but you catch them switching screens?
Australian psychologist Brad Marshall knows what makes our children tick, and he also knows what makes screen addiction so powerful. But instead of alarmism, he deals in actionable and realistic strategies, and also includes tips for parents who are raising neurodivergent kids.
An advocate for balance instead of bans, Marshall offers a blueprint for fostering resilience and self-control. His Instagram, @unpluggedpsychologist, also has great content on everything from AI to brain rot games.
Generation Connected: How to Parent in a Digital World – at Every Age and Stage by Dr Jo Orlando
Published this year, this book doesn’t demonise technology nor does it ignore the risks. But its focus on encouraging ongoing conversations about social media and families working together takes a more sustainable approach beyond pat suggestions like “just limit screen time”. It’s also informed by Orlando’s extensive work with Australian families across cities and remote areas.
As well as offering a roadmap starting with a child’s first taps on a screen through the complex teenage arena of cyberbullying, digital dependency, social media pressure and “zombie-scrolling”, Orlando works through a “three forces” framework that addresses brain development, tech design and social context.
How We Grow Up: Understanding Adolescence by Matt Richtel
Richtel is a journalist, not a psychologist or an academic. So his book, which expands on his award-winning New York Times series on the teen mental health crisis, weaves research with superb storytelling. (It’s also been endorsed by former US Surgeon General Dr Vivek Murthy.)
Instead of moral panic, Richtel demonstrates great empathy to teens, even writing a letter to them, while explaining how adolescents once tested themselves in the natural world versus today, where their greatest battles are internal. It’s a great examination of what he calls “Generation Rumination”.
Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention – and How to Think Deeply Again by Johann Hari
Not specifically a guide for handling teens, but if you want a book to shock you out of your own worrying phone usage, this is the one. Hari takes readers on a journey from Elvis’s Graceland to the nerve-centres of Silicon Valley to illustrated how our attention has been hijacked.
He showcases how adolescents are particularly vulnerable to reward cycles, comparison and social feedback while revealing, through sound investigative journalism, how our attention is fragmenting and our happiness evaporating. He also calls social media companies to account. Why, for instance, does Meta not offer a feature encouraging friends in geographical proximity to meet up in real life? Answer: because it would pull them away from being online. You’ll come away feeling validated and inspired.
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Originally published as Six expert-backed books to help parents guide children through the social media ban
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