Karen’s Diner: Eating lunch at Gold Coast’s most controversial new restaurant

Bad manners, foul language and a tasty burger on the side - this has to be the Gold Coast’s most divisive new restaurant. WHAT TO EXPECT

Walking through the door with my wife at 12.34pm for a 12.30 lunch date I’m hit right between the eyes: “Why the f*** are you so late?”

Welcome to Karen’s Diner on the Gold Coast.

For the uninitiated, the Karen’s Diner concept is as simple as their slogan suggests – ‘Rude staff and great burgers’.

Alasdair Belling enjoyed his time at Karen's Diner, despite being told to …

You pay for the privilege of being abused, all with a side order of fries.

For some it is the ultimate perverse dining experience. But for others it can be unsettling.

One Brisbane outlet made headlines last month when a patron was labelled a “paedophile” after taking his family, including his 14 year old daughter, to the store for lunch.’

But with my wife and I due for a belated anniversary date, we were intrigued and decided to book ourselves in at the Surfers Paradise store.

Armed with a thick skin and sense of adventure, we were expecting things to be slightly more PG, given we had booked for a lunch date.

However, upon greeting the staff we were quickly put in our place.

“It’s 12:34 – why the f*** are you so late?” said the seemingly jaded waiter who met us.

My wife also quickly found herself in the firing line.

“Why the f*** would you marry this lazy piece of s***? This is why you don’t get married in the first place.”

After being shown to our seats and having menus thrown at us, we set about choosing our drinks.

We shouldn’t have bothered – at Karen’s you don’t call the shots.

Alasdair Belling and his wife went to Karen's Diner in Surfers Paradise.

My wife was scolded for her choice of cocktail: “I’ll give you a ‘boring Karen’ instead of the ‘Spicy Karen’ because that’s how I feel talking to you”.

I was promptly lambasted for ordering a beer.

“It’s your anniversary – do you even want to get lucky tonight?” our assistant said resentfully.

“No beer for you, you’ll eat the s*** we give you – suck it up.”

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

“Forced” into fancy cocktails, we then set about attacking our lunch – two humungous burgers with sides of fries, salad and a serving of cheeseburger spring rolls.

“Enjoy your heart attack on a plate,” I was told.

“If you spew we’ll give you a mop to clean it up yourself.”

My unforgettable experience at Karen's Diner. Picture: Supplied

LET THE GAMES BEGIN

Of course, eating is just a sideshow to the main attraction at Karen’s Diner – the games.

Led by an enraged MC, we played “Who’s the biggest Karen” and quiz game “Guess the Karen?”

We, unfortunately, lost both – the former involving an elimination process, with a number of “Karen” factors determining the winner (being under the age of 30 ruled us out of a podium finish). However, we were scolded in front of diners for failing to name which pop artist released ‘Lizzobangers’ in 2013 (you guessed it – Lizzo).

Winners were promptly given the finger en mass and told to “piss off”. Thanks for coming.

My unforgettable experience at Karen's Diner. Picture: Supplied

THE TOUGH STUFF

Despite the constant harassment from staff, for some customers, it wasn’t enough.

“We came here wanting to be abused, but I haven’t been bullied nearly enough,” said Zoe Smith, visiting with her husband.

“We’ve seen so many videos on TikTok and heard so many horror stories, but we feel like the staff here could have gone way harder.”

“The food was really nice but unfortunately so were the staff,” laughed another.

“I only got told to get f***ed once while here – other than that it‘s better service than I’ve received elsewhere!”

THE VERDICT

Despite other punters longing for a bit of “treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen” service, we walked away from Karen’s thoroughly satisfied we were destined for a messy divorce, mostly due to my laziness for a belated anniversary.

“It’s been s*** to see you – f*** off and we hope you didn’t enjoy yourselves,” said our waiter as we departed.

Despite the testimonies from hell, I couldn’t help but enjoy myself at Karen’s, and having cut my teeth in hospitality, I felt a pang of envy towards staff able to unleash their pent-up rage on customers.

My wife though had other ideas.

“There weren’t enough veggies for me, and the insults could have been more creative,” she said as we made our way to the car.

Looks like I married a Karen after all.

A staff member at Karen’s Diner greets a patron.

Originally published as Karen’s Diner: Eating lunch at Gold Coast’s most controversial new restaurant