Ann Wason Moore: Parents must be parents to Gold Coast teens causing trouble
As youth continue to cause trouble on Gold Coast streets, Ann Wason Moore asks where are the parents?
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It was the moment I let my middle-aged freak flag fly.
Turning down Karbunya Street in Mermaid Waters, I was confronted with the sight of about 60 young teenage boys on bikes.
Spread across both lanes of the road, they rode directly towards my oh-so-stereotypical soccer mum SUV.
Inches away from my front bumper, they would suddenly pop a wheelie (is that what you even still call it?) only to suddenly swerve before impact. Literally dozens in a row.
There was nothing I could do but stop dead in the middle of the road, lest I mow down a baker’s dozen of 13-year-olds.
Impotent in my rage, I couldn’t even shout any abuse given my 11-year-old daughter was riding shotgun beside me - but of course that didn’t stop the boys.
After nearly hitting my car, they then rode past and yelled at my window ‘suck my $^%’.
What made it worse was when I recognised one of the boys as one who used to be in my son’s class. And that did it for me.
Rolling down my window, I craned my 40-something head out to yell at this kid. I’ll call him Gary to protect his identity, since that name rules out anyone born after 1979.
“Gary!! Gary, get back here you little turd. Does your Mum know you’re out here?
“Look out boys,” I cried, waving my phone. “I’ll put you in the newspaper!”
To which I’m sure they thought - if at all - the what-paper? Look, I’d threaten to post it on my Insta but I really don’t think my five followers care.
Meanwhile, my poor daughter was quietly dying beside me. All those years I’ve dedicated to being a truly cool mum … gone in an instant. And I would have got away with it too, if it weren’t for those pesky kids.
But as I finally drove away, heart pounding, head raging, I wondered just why I was so angry.
I mean, yes, those boys were breaking the road rules, and yes, they were endangering themselves even more than myself, and yes, they were rude and crude … but were they really doing anything awful?
As triggered as I was, I couldn’t really call the police and report that ‘kids are riding bikes’.
But let me tell you, this middle-aged mum only wished she could at least talk to the manager.
And, by ‘manager’ I mean parents.
Maybe that was what was bothering me … where were the parents?
Later that day I logged onto my son’s Instagram and stalked the account of the boy I recognised … turns out these kids were part of a GC rideout.
It seems every month or so the call is put out on social media for ‘the boys’ to meet at a set place and then go … wherever. They head to parks and schools and pop their wheelies and practice their swerves and tricks and pretend to be cool.
While the terminology has changed since I was a kid, the behaviour hasn’t. Teen-dom is the time to test boundaries, and being a middle-aged mum means I’m pubescent enemy number one.
I get that.
But where are their mums and dads? If I could find all of this information so easily, why can’t they? After all, the boys are tagged by name.
It’s not a matter of not trusting our children, it’s a matter of responsible parenting.
Because ultimately these rideouts are prone to head in the wrong direction. After all, teenage boys are not known for their superior wisdom, and a group of teenage boys is far less than the sum of its parts. Bravado and hormones make a hazardous brew … it’s only a matter of time before a joke or a stunt goes too far.
Sure enough, later that day I saw alerts on social media from community pages warning against these hoods in the hood.
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We now live in an age where teens post their stupid decisions on social media, and adults happily engage in public shaming.
Whatever inter-generational buffer there once was has been all but worn away.
Just this week, new youth justice laws will be brought back before parliament, which will create a presumption against bail for young offenders charged with certain offences.
This is not the time for teens to start heading down the wrong road, nor for parents to blissfully live in ignorance.
The truth is that every kid, mine included, will make mistakes.
And while I may not be that cool mum I imagined myself to be, I am a concerned one.
I will both limit and stalk my children’s social media, privacy be damned. I’d rather be embarrassing than beyond embarrassed by their behaviour.
Kids will be kids and teens will be teens … but parents must be parents.
All women demand is ‘equality’ and ‘respect’
GEE whiz I’m sick of men whinging.
Sure, it’s women who have marched through the streets of this country protesting against sexism and gendered violence and demanding government action, but it seems the only real complaints I hear are from the un-fairer sex.
After all, women’s list of demands basically begin with equality and end with respect — it’s not whining when it’s a matter of respecting basic human rights. And yet it seems too many men think it’s all too hard.
2021 GOLD COAST WOMEN OF THE YEAR NOMINATIONS OPEN
Witness the launch of the Gold Coast Bulletin’s Women of the Year campaign. Within minutes of it being promoted on social media along came the comment: so when is the Men of the Year launch?
Way to miss the point, dude.
This campaign is about amplifying the achievements of women because historically we have been overlooked and under-represented.
Yes, change is happening … but judging by the response and reactions from some men, it sure ain’t easy.
HE CALLED ME A ‘TOKEN WOMAN’ – AND I THOUGHT ‘I’LL SHOW YOU’
Am I talking about a majority of men? Or even a lot? Nope. But it is a highly vocal minority who are really starting to piss me off.
You know the ones. You can recognise them by their distress call: “Of course I support women, but it’s getting so I don’t even know how to behave around them anymore.”
Forget worrying about getting raped or abused, these guys have some serious concerns … such as knowing when to open a door, how to read a room and understanding personal space.
To be fair, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to these queries. And that’s kind of the point.
Stop treating women as “other” and treat them as “human”. Do men ever worry about these issues with other men? Yes and no … it depends on who, what, when and where. It’s both situational and personal … it’s not a blanket code of behaviour.
And that’s exactly what we too are asking for.
There was a time not so long ago when I hesitated to label myself as a feminist. I didn’t want to be considered an angry, man-hating woman who yelled at any male who dared open a door for me.
And then, as I educated myself about my very own gender — and better understood some of my very own experiences, I realised that this definition of feminism was a lie.
Feminism is equality.
The fact is that I would never yell at any man who opens a door for me.
And yet, to be brutally honest, I don’t particularly like it.
Allow me to clarify. If a man ahead of me holds the door open as I follow, that’s pure courtesy — something I too regularly practice for any man … or woman.
But when a man rushes from behind to sensationally open my door in a showy display of chivalry, I’m not grateful.
It’s not that I’m insulted — I don’t believe he thinks that I’m incapable — I just believe he’s making this all about him.
It’s not courtesy, it’s a come-on. It’s “look at me being a gentleman”. But in the words of Shania Twain, that don’t impress me much.
And this is invariably the same guy who will then stand uncomfortably close, invading my personal space without invitation.
And the same guy who will then complain that all of this “women’s rights” stuff has gone too far. That he can’t tell the jokes he wants to tell or say the things he wants to say without fear of offending someone.
To which I say, it’s about time this burden fell not only on women’s shoulders.
How many times have we been the ones to suffer in silence while listening to a sexist joke?
How many times have we grimaced in discomfort as a man invaded our personal space, touched our shoulders or elbows in a manner that felt far too propriety?
How long have we bore the brunt of feeling awkward, not knowing if this invasion of personal space is threatening or simply obliviously ill-mannered?
While it is true that we are at a point of social discomfort right now, that’s what it takes to make change.
And if you can’t figure out a way to behave that doesn’t make people uncomfortable, that’s on you.
Yes, it takes thought, care and compassion … but is that really too much to ask?
Change is hard but it’s time to suck it up, prince.
Creating a more equal society is a win-win for us all. Women are not asking for more than men but the same — and that goes for not just rights but also responsibilities.
Let’s work towards a society where it’s not a case of men looking after women or women looking after men but where we all look out for each other.
Let’s open the door to a better Australia.
Originally published as Ann Wason Moore: Parents must be parents to Gold Coast teens causing trouble
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