WTF: No comment, beach mystery, brief mention, licence rage
In this week’s WTF column, we seek clarity on a colourful object that was recently spotted in Geelong’s north, while missing in action MP Darren Cheeseman continues to turn his back on the people who pay his wage.
In an increasingly partisan world, one thing that continues to unite politicians of all persuasions is their strong desire for self-promotion.
So when you offer an elected representative an opportunity akin to a slow half volley outside off stump, you expect to be accepted with glee.
Not so when that offer is made to Darren Cheeseman.
We asked the former Labor, now independent MP to write a column making the case of how his South Barwon constituents were receiving effective representation.
We called. We emailed. We never heard back.
This is, after all, the same office that told us upon an earlier inquiry that it had been directed – by Cheeseman, we assume – not to respond to media.
Cheeseman has regularly featured in this newspaper for his ongoing ability to be paid a huge sum of taxpayers’ money for, as far as we can tell, doing very little.
Geelong mayor Stretch Kontelj summed up the feeling of almost everyone when in June he slammed Cheeseman for “taking the piss”, labelling him a “complete waste of space”.
But what is almost as galling for us here at WTF is the unwillingness of any of his former Labor colleagues to call out, publicly at least, his appalling lack of effort.
Upon his sacking from Labor’s parliamentary party, Premier Jacinta Allan said: “There’s simply no room … no tolerance for this type of behaviour within the government.”
Yet it seems that a complete lack of endeavour to do the job in any meaningful way is tolerable.
BEACH MYSTERY
A photo of a colourful object spotted on North Shore beach landed in our inbox recently.
Taken by a keen walker in the area and with the attention grabbing subject header “WTF MYSTERY”, they posed the question: “Is it (an) animal or vegetable?”
Admittedly, we had no idea.
And while we’re still not completely certain, we’re going to go with it being a type of “sea squirt”.
According to the Australian Museum, sea squirts are collectively known as ascidians and characterised by a tough outer “tunic” made of cellulose.
“Ascidians are the evolutionary link between invertebrates and vertebrates,” the museum states on its website.
“They are an invertebrate with some primitive vertebrate features, such as a primitive backbone during a stage in their life cycle.
“Adult ascidians are ‘sessile’ (unable to move around): they attach themselves to rocks or shells.”
Can you shed any light on the object? journo@geelongadvertiser.com.au
BRIEF MENTION
A thief appeared in a Geelong court recently charged with serious financial crimes – but it wasn’t his misdeeds that pricked up the ears of WTF.
In an outline of his offending read to the court, the brief mention of a local businessman caught our attention.
This particular businessman has had a colourful career that has seen him make many a headline in this publication, and that of others.
The businessman, who was not accused of any wrongdoing himself, had apparently brokered two loans involving our thief many moons ago.
In more recent times the businessman launched a revamped website, one which notably included a positive review by “Kim Wexler” – the name of one of the main characters from the television show Better Call Saul.
WTF can confirm both that the reviewers have since been updated to be more generic – and that the Breaking Bad spin-off is worth the watch.
LICENCE RAGE
A man jailed for a shocking road rage attack wants his licence back.
He was jailed for a maximum of seven-and-a-half years in 2019 after ramming a motorcyclist with his car in what a County Court judge described as “homicidal fury”.
The man then exited his car and attacked the victim, who suffered cuts, bruising, a black eye, and needed surgery on his foot.
At the time, his licence had been already disqualified for 12 months due to speeding and his driving history painted a “sorry record” that showed “scant regard for the law”.
As part of the sentence over the February 2018 attack, the man was also disqualified from driving for five years, and his driver’s licence was cancelled, meaning he had to apply to a court to get it back.
Sitting in prison greens in a video conference room recently, he did just that.
“Don’t you think it’s a bit premature?” the magistrate asked.
The man said he had begun the process of getting his licence back and would complete it once he was a free man.
Victoria Police did not oppose the man’s application and it was granted, with the magistrate noting that he still wasn’t guaranteed the licence.
“You’ll just have to go through the appropriate channels,” he told the man.
Let’s hope that he’s a changed driver when he gets back behind the wheel.
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Originally published as WTF: No comment, beach mystery, brief mention, licence rage
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