Four years on: How Kelly Wilkinson’s sister is turning tragedy into hope
The sister of murdered Gold Coast mum Kelly Wilkinson is now raising her three children. What she’s discovered about domestic violence support in the years since has driven her to act. READ HER STORY
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Before Gold Coast mother-of-three Kelly Wilkinson was murdered, she called her sister one day out of the blue: “If anything was to happen to Mum (too), where would my kids go?” she asked.
At the time, Danielle Carroll – Kelly’s older sister – recalls she “sort of laughed it off”.
She already had five children of her own, she thought.
But just seven weeks after their mother Karen died from a brain aneurysm in February 2021, Kelly’s life was cruelly cut short in a horrific domestic violence murder that shocked the family and the wider community.
Kelly was set on fire in the backyard of her Arundel home on 20 April, 2021.
Her de facto partner and father of their three children Brian Earl Johnston pleaded guilty to her murder last year and was sentenced to mandatory life imprisonment.
Dealing with extreme shock and grief, Ms Carroll found herself sitting around the kitchen table with her family, facing the very question Kelly had asked months earlier.
“Looking back, she was sort of making plans and making sure her kids had a secure future. She knew what was coming,” Ms Carroll said.
The decision that changed everything
Grappling with grief from the deaths of her mother and sister, Ms Carroll and her partner Rhys had a monumental decision to make.
“Rhys was like: ‘This is us,’” she recalled. “I thought ‘can I do this?’”
She decided she could, and the family grew from seven people to 10 overnight, with eight young ones to feed and look after.
“We’re four years on now and we’re still sort of winging it in some ways,” Ms Carroll said.
“But the kids just fit right in.
“It was the best thing for them to come and live with our kids.”
But the transition hasn’t been without its challenges.
“Any blended family you’re going to have that period where it’s just tricky with people trying to fit in and it’s a different home environment.
“She’s my sister and the family functions in a different way,” Ms Carroll explained.
“It’s taken some of them nearly the whole four years to really settle into where we are now. “Eight kids – you can’t give all of them what they need every single day – it’s just how it is. “But they really have found some strong relationships within the siblings – it’s really nice to see.”
Difficult conversations
As Kelly’s children – now aged 12, 10 and six – have grown older, more difficult conversations have emerged.
“I’ve always said from the beginning, we have zero contact with him (Brian Earl Johnston) or his family at this point. If they get older and decide that’s something that they want to explore that’s completely up to them,” Ms Carroll said.
“They are really strongly opinionated about what he is to them now – and that’s sort of evolving now as they get older and understanding more of it.
“We’re an open family and we’ve had some pretty open discussions.”
A foundation born from tragedy
It’s this experience of picking up the pieces in the most dreadful circumstances that inspired Ms Carroll to establish the Kelly Wilkinson Foundation, dedicated to long-term support for the children of domestic violence homicide victims and their caregivers.
“We very quickly realised there’s little to no support for secondary victims of domestic violence,” she said.
The foundation supports 18 children.
“We’ve deployed just over $90,000 in our first year,” Ms Carroll said.
The support covers things like extra-curricular activities, schooling costs, and groceries over extended periods.
“We’ve just sponsored a child who’s going to go away for sports and they needed that bulk payment to be able to put the cost of uniform, travel, accommodation.
“Just really practical things you don’t really think about. Everyday people just pay for sport every week, but it can be a big cost to someone who’s not prepared to have those children.”
The foundation has also supported two children attending private school.
“It’s just so they can maintain a part of their life that’s normal.
“And for kids who have been through trauma, one of the best things you can do is offer stability, so we step in and help them.”
Ms Carroll said the foundation was also inspired by the level of support her family had received from the Gold Coast community.
Walking alongside families
What sets the Kelly Wilkinson Foundation apart is it’s long-term commitment.
“We’re not a one stop or (saying) here’s a $100 payment, see you later. We’re really saying to these families that we will walk beside them for a number of years,” Ms Carroll explained.
“Some of these children are very young.
“One of our families – their youngest was 10 months old and they’ve got to raise that child right through. So we’re saying we will walk with them right through until they turn 18.
“It’s a huge commitment we’re making and I want to be able to fulfil that.”
The impact is immediate and profound.
“I’ve had people cry. That tiny little thing we’re offering can really be that thing that gets them through for that week, or month, or year. It just takes the pressure off.
“There’s so many other bits and pieces you have to deal with that you don’t really consider and it just takes a bit of the financial strain off them and it allows them to be able to live and try and heal.”
Kelly’s Long Lunch
The foundation’s major annual fundraiser, Kelly’s Long Lunch, is held on the first Friday in August each year – this year falling on what would have been Kelly’s birthday on August 1.
The choice of date and format reflects one of Kelly’s final wishes, shared in the family’s group chat: “For my birthday this year, I want to have a Ladies Lunch.”
“Because she was never allowed to do anything, and unfortunately, she never made it,” Ms Carroll said.
“So we go and do that for her every year.
“I wanted it to be more of a celebration of life than a tragic event. I think she would love to see everybody coming together.”
This year, they hope to raise $60,000.
Hindsight and grappling with the signs
Four years on, Ms Carroll can now see the signs she says she missed at the time.
The abuse “really spanned for a few years”, ramping up when Kelly returned from living in America.
“He sort of just turned up (at her Mum’s place) and love bombed her … and I suppose it worked for a while, which it usually does, and then she got pregnant again and I think that’s when all of that behaviour started again from him.
“Not so much physical here – but more of that coercive control.”
Other warning signs were subtle but, in hindsight, clear.
“She’d say look at all these bruises all over me. Looking back, it’s like she was wanting to say something but she wouldn’t say it.
“She’d be like I don’t know I just keep knocking myself.
“Looking back, it’s like she was trying to show us what was going on along the way.”
Grief not a linear journey
Years have passed but Ms Carroll continues to navigate grief while trying to build something positive from tragedy.
“Certain times I can talk and talk and I’m absolutely fine, and then other days I go to say something and I just turn into a puddle.
“It really is a journey. You never know what’s going to trigger you either – sometimes it’s the smallest thing.”
But her sister’s memory drives her forward.
“She was such a funny person. I was looking through photos and videos yesterday of her and her kids, and she was such a warm person. She was always there to have a laugh. You stepped into her house and it was a home – she loved to cook for people. That was her love language, but she was just cheeky and funny.”
Initially reluctant to share Kelly’s story publicly, Ms Carroll now sees its power.
“I was sort of resistant at the beginning, because I knew Kelly was a private person, and she didn’t want people to think she was a victim.
“But now I think she would want her story to help other people.
“By sharing Kelly’s story, it can really trigger things in people, where you go ‘oh my God, I see that in my relationship’ or someone else’s relationship.”
Looking ahead
As the foundation grows, Ms Carroll has ambitious plans for expansion.
“We’re still really in our infancy stage but we are trying to build our volunteer database as well. We also need more business support.”
She said she’d also like to look at including respite for families in the future.
“Because that’s another thing people have said to me is ‘I feel so guilty because we can’t afford to do anything because we’ve taken them on but what quality of life are we giving them now?’.
“So trying to build up that quality of life for families without the financial pressure.”
Kelly’s Long Lunch, which will honour Kelly and raise vital funds is on Friday, August 1 at the Mercure Gold Coast Resort. Tickets are available now at: kellywilkinsonfoundation.org
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