Mark Berridge offers four steps to allow you to conquer fear

A serious spinal cord injury that put his future in doubt taught Mark Berridge all about fear. But he beat it and says you can too. Here’s how.

Mark Berridge knows fear. After a serious bike accident left him stranded in a dry stormwater ditch and suffering a serious spinal cord injury, in March 2019, he feared he would never walk again, feared for his career and feared for his role in his family.

His biggest fears came in the first hours and weeks after his injury as he contemplated failing at all three, but he soon realised the only real failure was the failure to try.

Berridge set out to improve his strength, balance and functionality one small fraction at a time until the cumulative effect would bring real change.

He succeeded over 10 months of rehabilitation, although he still suffers muscular and sensory challenges.

Berridge is now a motivational speaker helping other Australians overcome their fears and find pools of resilience within themselves.

“Life can be a tug of war between self-doubt and self-worth,” the father-of-three says.

“There are few things as powerful to embedding and building our self-worth as tackling our fear.

Mark Berridge, author of A Fraction Stronger, in a ditch after the cycling accident that damaged his spinal cord.

“It will likely be uncomfortable – even traumatic – but the sense of pride on the other side of fear is priceless and builds our capacity to bounce back from whatever nasty surprise lays around a future corner. And there will be one.

“But overcoming fear powers our potential.”

Berridge says any unwelcome event, or the prospect of one, triggers fear and we immediately feel a loss of control.

“We forget that life is constantly uncertain and that uncertainty has led to all the best things that have happened to us,” he says.

“We focus on our bad experiences, relive them, and link them back to their associated moments of fear.

“We may even start catastrophising the consequences – I do. I wrestle that back under control by focusing on the potential good and reminding myself how uplifting tackling fear can be.”

Berridge shares his story in the hope people can understand the good that can come from tackling your fears and challenges.

“Fear is instinctive. I believe it is our ability to respond to fear that changes, not the instinct itself,” he says.

“The biggest barrier is fear itself and committing yourself. (Aviator) Amelia Earhart summed it up brilliantly: ‘The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.’

“There are still some examples where flight from the fear is applicable (a fire in your house), but mostly pausing for an appropriate duration to plan how you will tackle the fear is most powerful (if safe to do so, grab the fire blanket and throw it on the flaming saucepan).

“By building our positive associations about what lies on the other side of fear we can change our default instinct to tackling fear.”

Mark Berridge’s spine x-ray after his accident.

Mark Berridge after his recovery.

Here are Berridge’s tips for overcoming your fears:

ACT

Try to critique the advantages of progression versus the dread of inaction. By looking forward, you will help liberate yourself and open your mind to new perspectives, new possibilities. Action both changes the information we have about our situation, and it builds the belief that we can act despite the spectre of our fear.

DON’T GIVE UP

Having de-shackled ourselves from fear, we do not want to be recaptured! We need to quell self-doubt about the actions taken, as this can trigger reversion to fear.

We need to grant ourselves permission to make imperfect decisions and achieve imperfect results. Encourage yourself to do this by rewarding the decision to act and the effort applied to break inertia. Focus on the experience and information gained from that act rather than the outcomes. Ensure that progress trumps regret. Strategies like this help us persevere.

VISUALISE

Focus on the outcome and not the challenge of the journey. This moves our perspective from the fear to the reward.

Break down the problem into smaller pieces. Creating manageable steps may not immediately make the fear surmountable, but it diffuses that sense of it being insurmountable. This action also provides opportunities to reward effort applied towards these interim targets, and opportunities to celebrate them. Each step builds confidence.

SAVOUR THE MOMENT

Think back to fears you have faced in the past and how great you felt as you tackled them.

The unsettling anticipation, that fear of stepping into the unknown; the uncertainty and liberation once you committed to an action, and ultimately the sweetness of both the attempt and the reward.

Your experiences can be drawn on to help you visualise and tackle your fears. The more you savour your successes both big and small, the stronger and more confident you will feel.

Mark Berridge is the author of A Fraction Stronger (Major Street, $32.99).

Originally published as Mark Berridge offers four steps to allow you to conquer fear