I spent so much on my friend's wedding only for the marriage to last two weeks

"The worst part is she was so blasé about it all and laughed about how she knew it wasn't going to last..."

A woman has vented online about spending thousands on her friend's wedding, only for the marriage to be over within two weeks. 

But it was her friend's blasé reaction that really got her riled up.

However, in the comments - people weren't as sympathetic to her as you might think. 

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Image: IStock

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"It was a sham and over in a matter of weeks"

Taking to the 'Am I being Unreasonable' advice forum on Mumsnet, the woman got straight to the point, writing, "AIBU to be annoyed at spending so much money on my friends dream wedding day for it all to be a sham and over in a matter of weeks?"

She caveats this by saying, "I know it sounds selfish" but says that she can't help but feel upset after putting so much effort and money into making the day everything her friend wanted.

The worst part is that her friend doesn't seem to see the problem and says she even anticipated the divorce before the wedding even took place. 

"She is being so blasé about the whole situation and laughing about it being the shortest marriage and how she knew it wasn't going to last," the OP says.

"I've tried speaking to her seriously about it to get a better understanding. We knew he maybe wasn't the right fit for her and I could totally understand her decision if it was a DV situation but she said they are just not right for each other.

"She said she didn't want to let people down and would've been embarrassed to cancel. She wanted her fairytale day and the wedding of dreams."

"The guests funded a day for her to feel like a princess but it was never about getting married"

So, what did the OP shell out thousands for?

Not one, not two, but THREE hens' parties (one overseas, one domestic trip and one at home). Then there were countless bottomless brunches, dress try-ons and long lunches. 

In addition to this, the hotel for the wedding was $850, then there's every other expense that goes with a wedding like outfits, shoes, bags, make-up and drinks.

"That takes me to a few thousand dollars easily. Then don't get me started on the wedding gift!! Just makes me so mad. I surely can't be the only one feeling like this!?" the OP says.

She concludes, "She gave no indication that there was anything wrong in the relationship and I totally understand that you never know what is going on behind closed doors. Obviously, her happiness comes first and is more important than money but it has just irked me that I spent so much and put so much effort into little details to make it really special and essentially the guests funded a day for her to feel like a princess and it was never about getting married."

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"You're daft for spending so much on someone else's wedding"

Down in the comments, not many people sided with the OP.

"More fool you for spending that much money on something that wasn’t for you," one top commenter wrote.

Another chimed in, calling her "daft" for spending so much on someone else's wedding, but understood it would still be frustrating. 

"Don't spend money on things you can't afford," someone else blasted.

"She could be using humour as a coping strategy"

Then others said they suspected the friend wasn't telling her the whole story.

"I'd imagine she’s trying to put on a brave face and laughing it off because she’s upset, embarrassed, all the other emotions anyone feels when their marriage ends. Even looking at it from the purely financial perspective you are, do you really think she wanted to spend tens of thousands of dollars on her dream wedding and then break up a fortnight later?" one person replied.

Then someone else with first-hand experience in this said, "My marriage also fell apart after a couple of weeks. I was so humiliated and embarrassed I used humour as a coping strategy too. Really I was dying inside. ... I hope she's OK."

"Surely this is bravado though? She must be broken inside?" another suggested.

"I'd be irritated too"

And finally, a few people agreed with the OP, with one person admitting, "I'd be irritated too."

"More about the blasé attitude that she was happy for people to go to a lot of time, effort and spend money celebrating something that she knew wasn't real," they added.

A different woman remarked, "I can understand why you feel this way given what you’ve written, it sounds to me like your friend made everything about her and her perfect day."

Then someone else claimed that, "Presents should be returned, at the very least."

Originally published as I spent so much on my friend's wedding only for the marriage to last two weeks