'Unhinged' MIL throws a baby shower for herself as a grandma

"I created a registry for myself. My baby is going to need a room at my house so I threw a shower for myself."

It's another addition of when MIL's go too far: a mother-in-law has ruined a baby shower for the expectant mum. 

In this jaw-dropping tale, a pregnant woman looking for support online begins her wild story by explaining that she had been beginning to notice some odd behaviour from her MIL.

“My mother-in-law has been referring to the baby as ‘her’ baby this entire time. She will say things like ‘I can't wait for my baby to be born.’ ‘My baby is going to be so loved.’ This rubs me the wrong way for reasons I cannot explain, but my husband tells me to ignore her,” she writes in the popular Reddit subgroup, Am I The A**hole?

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Mother-in-law or Single White Female

The mum-to-be says that she nevertheless decided to oblige her MIL and agreed to have a baby shower - even though the guests included several of her MIL’s friends.

“I asked if I could invite my friends, and she said no, that this was for her friends, and that if my friends wanted to throw me a shower they could. I reluctantly agreed,” she wrote before adding that she and her husband worked on a gift registry leading up to the day of the shower.

“My MIL asked for the list so she could share with her friends. She said she forwarded the registry to them. She asked me what design I wanted on my cake and cookies. I told her flowers because I am decorating the nursery in a garden theme,” she continued.

It all seemed innocent until the day of the shower, when tensions reached breaking point for the expectant mum. 

“At the shower they provided me with a ‘mother-to-be’ sash and my MIL a ‘granny to be’ sash to wear. I noticed that the theme of the shower was circus animals. The cake had an elephant and balloons on it, and the cookies were animals. At first, I thought that maybe the floral theme was just too difficult, so I rolled with it until it was time to open presents.”

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The baby shower theme was a no-go for her MIL 

After opening up a handful of gifts, she noticed that all the gifts were animal-themed and nothing was from her registry.

"I was a little confused and even went so far to check my registry to make sure I hadn't goofed up and changed everything. I thanked everyone for their gifts and tried to sound as gracious as possible, but I was so confused."

Enter the son and father-to-be, and this is where the family dynamic really goes pear-shaped. Being a bit more brazen, her husband confronted his mum, asking why the decor and everything gifted was not what they had requested. She admitted she didn’t “like” the theme for the shower and chose one she preferred.

“I'm going to decorate my baby's nursery at my house with circus animals, so I created a registry for myself,” the MIL said. “My baby is going to need a room at my house so I threw a shower for myself."

The father-to-be called his mother “delusional,” to which the MIL quickly gaslighted the couple, crying and accusing them of keeping the unborn baby from her.

“We've been getting texts from his family since the shower, calling us selfish and ungrateful and saying we ruined her joy of being a grandma. Are we the AH?” the poster finally asks.

Image: iStock

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"The Hand That Rocks The Cradle" vibes

The response from Reddit users was overwhelmingly supportive of the couple, noting that this MIL was not going to change her ways. 

One Reddit user offered some advice that some may find extreme, but cautioned the couple to take measures to ensure the safety of their expectant child:

“Make sure locks are changed if she has keys to your home. Make sure you invest in security cameras. Let the hospital know your MIL is to be nowhere near your baby. Let them know you and your husband are the only two that fill out any paperwork.

"Honestly no contact from the start that way she has no grandparents' visitation case. Document every creepy thing she does. Call your doctor and tell your pediatrician at the time to password-protect your medical information. Your MIL is unhinged and this has The Hand That Rocks The Cradle vibes."

Another alarmed commenter wrote: 

“What the actual hell is with grandmothers trying to either steal babies or steal their own sons away from their spouses!?! It’s so freaking creepy and absolutely insane. This woman is not in a healthy enough headspace to be anywhere near your child. I’d be afraid for the baby’s safety.”  

Finally, the poster responded in the comments, writing, “We're not certain we want to go 100% NC [no contact] with MIL at this time, but we want to keep our distance from her for now.

“We did agree that she will not be allowed to be alone with the baby for the foreseeable future.

“Honestly, I suspect MIL will be a good grandma - but she's going to have to earn my and my husband's trust again,” she concluded.

This article was published in January 2024 and was updated in May 2024. 

Originally published as 'Unhinged' MIL throws a baby shower for herself as a grandma