Parenting then vs now: what we'd never do to our own kids

There’s no question that the way things were done when we were growing up is worlds apart from how it is today, but what will people absolutely leave in the past?

Dominique Birouste

2 min read

October 17, 2023 - 4:05PM

Parenting

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Times have evolved since I was a kid in the 90s and early noughties.

No one has a home phone anymore, the dial-up tone is a distant nightmare, and Blockbuster has left a VHS-sized hole in our Friday night plans.

While I reminisce nostalgically about these memories, a thread has popped up on Reddit where a question has gone viral with over 2,000 comments.

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"I will never..."

“What did your parents do to you that you will never do to your child ?”

Parenting trends and norms have evolved over the generations, and the way Gen X and Gen Z/millennials plan on parenting can be argued as having improved drastically since our parents and grandparents’ day.

So, what did people share they absolutely will never do when parenting their children?

This would not fly today

One commenter shared the disappointment they experienced when telling their parents about their aspirations.

I’ll never tell my kids “that their dreams/hopes/aspirations are…stupid because ‘no one makes money doing [that]’” they wrote.

“Sometimes fulfilment is more important than being super wealthy,” they added.

There's more to life than a well-paying job. Source: iStock

Another spoke about cruel punishments they received, “I’ll never use humiliation as a form of punishment.”

“My step mum used to record my mental breakdowns and threaten to post them on Facebook,” they continued.

“One time she actually did…all of her friends and family commented how awful it was that she would post it, and she deleted it, but the harm was already done.

Every single time I saw family for the next few months, it was just, ‘Are you okay? I saw what happened; are you alright?’ It was so embarrassing.”

A standout point I will be accurately aware of is commenting on my children’s weight, with one commenter writing, “My parents sent me to a terrible dietitian when I was 8. I was put on a calorie-counting diet.”

Protecting a child's well-being is number one for modern parents. Source: iStock

Other notable comments

Other notable comments on the thread that garnered loads of attention were

Ignoring the awkward conversations.
Forcing my kids to eat everything on their plate
Touching them when they don’t want to be touched, like forcing hugs and kisses
Complaining about the other parent to my kids
Giving them the silent treatment
Complaining about how hard or expensive it is to be a parent
Doing one uppers and discrediting their feelings by saying things like, “Well, at least you don’t have to…”

Forced affection is a big no-no for one parent. Source: iStock

I'll do my best

As a new mum, I have a newfound appreciation for how hard this parenting gig can be, and my baby is only ten months old.

I cringe at the thought of the ways I’ll embarrass her without realising and the things she’ll wish I didn’t do, like cheer for her loudly at her sporting games or buy matching outfits.

But, one certain thing is I’ll always give the job my everything, which will still probably mortify her in front of her friends, but at least she’ll know I tried, right?

Submissions have been edited for length and clarity.