'No, your kids shouldn't send nudes even with their faces removed. Here's why'

“They are encouraging behaviour which is likely to cause a young person to be arrested and charged and that is not ok."

Cindy Lever

4 min read

July 20, 2023 - 11:13AM

Blokes at the pub ‘would blush’ at Big W’s explicit sex ed book for kids

Family Life

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A cyber safety expert has condemned a controversial book written for children as young as eight, describing it as “dangerous” and “complete misinformation”.

The book, Welcome to Sex: Your no-silly-questions guide to sexuality, pleasure and figuring it out by Yumi Stynes and Dr Melissa Kang, has sparked debate around sex education for children, with many parents furious.

Big W, which was criticised for stocking it, bowed to pressure this week and removed it from sale.

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One section of the book discusses sending nude pictures and sexting, which Dr Kang likens to love letters that were once sent before phones, ignoring the innocence of those letters, which were generally written by adults, compared to the explicit pictures and videos that can be sent today and shared to the world instantly.

The authors write that if they were talking to their own children about sending nudes, they’d advise them to crop their heads off just in case, because once a picture is out there you have no control over it.

However, cyber safety expert with 27 years in law enforcement, Susan McLean, said she was concerned about the peddling of misinformation on such an important topic.

“These people haven’t a clue about the reality of the digital world,” she stresses.

“They are encouraging behaviour which is likely to cause a young person to be arrested and charged and that is not ok.

“The head is not the important part; you are still creating child abuse material which is a very serious offence.”

Susan McLean is a cybersecurity expert and was a member of Victoria Police for 27 years. Picture: CyberSafety Solutions

"Once you send an image you have lost control over it"

Ms McLean said minors sending nudes was a crime in Australia, except for Victoria in certain situations, and if convicted, kids could become registered sex offenders.

“Once you send an image you have lost control over it,” she said.

“A naked image is very attractive to a child sex offender, and they can end up on the computer of a paedophile or traded in a paedophile forum.”

She says parents and their children need to be made aware that the offence of making, possessing, and transmitting child abuse material is very serious.

“I have seen children become blackmailed at school. It became a competition among the boys of ‘guess the body’ from a headless nude photo,” McLean says.

“I’ve seen paedophiles tell children to just chop their head off and eventually they get a full nude photo.”

The controversial book was written by Yumi Stynes and Dr Melissa Kang.

"This book needs a lot of explanation and discussion"

Ms McLean provides cyber security education covering nude photos and consent to primary and high schools across Australia daily, and says her classes are done in a way that is age and developmentally appropriate and not encouraging illegal behaviours.

“It is a battle,” she says of raising awareness on this issue.

“There is a lack of understanding of the digital world and many parents don’t have a clue, which is fine, but if they end up finding this resource it’s a disaster.

“Parents should educate themselves and make sure they are using a legitimate and factually correct resource.”

Ms McLean said the fact the book was available in school libraries, where children were sneaking a look rather than taking it home, was very concerning because it did not allow for adults to engage with children while they were reading.

“This book needs lots of explanation and discussion,” McLean says.

Dr Jillian Spencer said the book sent an "uncomfortable" message to young girls. Picture: The Australian

"It tells them their naked body is the primary focus"

Child psychiatrist, Dr Jillian Spencer says she has seen children charged by police with the distribution of child exploitation material in her practice.

“Encouraging children to chop their head off naked images sends an uncomfortable message,” she said.

“It tells them their naked body is the primary focus when attempting to connect and form relationships with other people.

“It is important that we don’t strip away from children the truth: that attraction between people is a bit uncontrollable and a bit magic and is influenced by factors that aren’t always visible or easily described.”

Dr Spencer explains that exposure to sexual concepts needs to occur gradually and tailored to the child’s individual stage of development.

“The book appears to inundate children with a lot of graphic adult sexual information and pictures,” she says.

“It describes sex acts without any relationship context.

“It is likely to frighten some children and encourage children to view sex as a series of acts that are separate from any emotional connection with another person.”

The book has garnered both controversy and support from parents since it was released in May. Picture: Instagram/Yumi Stynes

"Unless we speak up it will end in tears for too many young people"

McLean agrees that it reduces a young woman to the sum of her body parts, which is not empowering.

“It is misleading, dangerous and damaging content,” she stated.

“Unless we all speak up it will end in tears for far too many young people.”

She also stressed the age of consent is stated as 16 in the book, but it can be 18 if the person is a sport coach, youth coach, pastor or teacher or person in authority, which is not mentioned anywhere in the book.

“We need resources to counteract pornography, but this is not one of them,” McLean states emphatically.