My wedding isn't kid-free; it's just yours who isn't invited

"I just can't risk it after what she did at the last wedding, but people tell me it's wrong to exclude just one child," the groom shared. 

In a recent post to an online advice forum, a soon-to-be groom shared his dilemma about his upcoming wedding. 

The thread, which has since gone viral, explains his decision to allow kids at his wedding - with the exception of one cousin's ill-behaved daughter.

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"I told her I wasn't having a child-free wedding"

The groom, a 27-year-old man explained that he and his 25-year-old fiancé have decided that "friends and family can bring their kids, since for the most part the kids are well behaved and will be with a sitter for the night so the parents can enjoy the festivities."

Image: IStock

He continued, "The only exception is my cousin Linda’s daughter, Cerrie, who is 12."

"Linda's entitled and selfish and she's made her daughter entitled and selfish," he said.

The backstory is that at a previous family wedding, Cerrie reportedly threw a tantrum and destroyed the wedding cake, "because she was jealous that Lily's daughter was the flower girl."

Given this, the groom's stance remains firm: Cerrie is not invited to this wedding. However, Linda didn't take the news too well.

"She recently called me up to 'talk' and brought up child-free weddings and how terrible they are. Her invitation said nothing about a child-free wedding, it had her name, and her husband's name on it and no plus one or anything to indicate Carrie could come," he said.

"I told her I wasn't having a child-free wedding, Cerrie just wasn't invited because of what happened at the other wedding. I don't want a repeat of Cerrie seeing she's not the flower girl again and throwing another fit."

Linda's since gotten other members of their extended family who take her side to bombard the OP and his fiancé with texts about "how selfish we are for purposefully excluding one child while everyone else can bring their kids."

He also added a note at the end of his post that read: "For those who will ask, 'Why invite Linda at all?' My family is very big on 'family is everything', so if I’d not invited Linda and her husband at all the sh*tstorm would be much bigger and the majority of my family would be calling me to tell me to invite her."

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"It's actually wild"

So, now the groom wants to know: is he being fair? Should a child's past behaviour be held against them in such a significant way?

1.3k people weighed in with their thoughts and they seem to all be in agreeance.

"NTA, uninvite anyone that complained," the top comment, with 17k likes, boldly stated. 

"For real," someone else replied. "Get rid of all this bullsh*t. I've never been around anyone who acts like this and I'm 40 and read the wildest stuff on here."

"So true! I mean a kid smashing a wedding cake because they weren't the flower girl? It's actually wild," a third responded.

Then this person rationalised, "Is it assholish to exclude someone? Mostly, yes. Is it assholish to exclude someone to ensure a smooth wedding? Maybe, no. Is it assholish to exclude an entitled child while teaching mummy a lesson? Hell yeaahhh!!"

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"Old enough to know better"

Other commenters pointed out that just because Cerrie is older now, doesn't mean her behaviour has necessarily improved.

"Cerrie was 10 when she threw her fit. Old enough to know better. So she's 12 going on 13 now with extra fun hormones raging through her system. Has she/did she show any remorse for her behaviour? Is that an ongoing issue with her throwing tantrums when she's not the sole focus?" one user remarked.

Someone else expressed, "If my 10-year-old kid destroyed someone's cake at their wedding, I would ban myself from weddings for the next 10 years out of pure embarrassment and shame. Probably all of public life too if we're being honest. How can someone let something like that happen and not realise it's time to rethink every single decision they've ever made?"

And lastly, someone else concluded, "To be honest, I would have just made it a kid-free wedding from the beginning. 'Remember what happened at so-and-so's wedding? Yeah... No kids.' It would have been easier and I wouldn't have to single anyone out. But it's OP's wedding and they're not the asshole for excluding a girl who threw a tantrum and ruined an entire wedding reception."

This article was published in January 2024 and was updated in June 2024.

Originally published as My wedding isn't kid-free; it's just yours who isn't invited