My sister told my wife she looks pregnant - she's not

“It's so inappropriate on so many levels to comment on something this sensitive!" Have you received a similar remark on your appearance?

A man has taken to an advice forum, asking for opinions after his sister made a rude remark to his wife on a recent visit. 

Taking to the online forum, the man explained that while his sister is 30, she hasn’t had a ‘conventional adulthood’, with stints in and out of rehab.

“She lives alone now and doesn’t have much of a social life,” he adds, which is important context for the story. 

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"Maybe she didn't know that you don't say that, ever"

He explains, “My wife isn't a heavy person by any means, but like many, many people, she isn't quite as thin as she was when we first married, pre-child and all that. Totally normal and obviously I couldn't care less. 

“My sister came over with my mum to visit several months ago, which was her first time seeing my wife and I in years. Then, she came into town again more recently and we met her at my parents' house. She saw my wife and said, 'Oh, I thought you were pregnant,' implying that my wife looked pregnant last she saw her but clearly isn't as she would be showing more now.”

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He goes on to say that his wife is a very emotionally mature person, so didn’t make a scene after hearing this comment, and neither did he. 

“I thought maybe my sister, perhaps being less exposed to societal norms than some, didn't know that you don't say that, ever. So I sent her a text later on telling her that I know she didn't have bad intentions but that it's generally quite rude to comment that someone looks pregnant and really it shouldn't be said, basically ever,” he wrote. 

“She got all bent out of shape, saying I was a jerk for making her feel guilty and said that I should ‘grow up’ and ‘stop taking everything so seriously’. AITA?”

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"You were right to call out this behaviour"

“NTA. That was a rude comment for your sister to make, and you didn’t scream at her about it or anything. You assumed the best intentions and were polite, and she immediately got mad and insulted you,” the top comment with 2.9k likes read.

Others echoed this sentiment: “She was the one out of line and she tried to turn it around to you?!

“You were right to call out this behaviour. There is no excuse for her.”

Then a third commenter provided this personal experience: “NTA - I have friends who have had major substance abuse and been institutionalised the majority of their life, they still don't behave the way described.

“She was out of line, and worse yet, can't take feedback like an adult."

Then this person summarised the situation: “Imagine actually thinking someone was pregnant, then seeing them later and they aren't any bigger and you say, ‘I thought you were pregnant.’ Just wild to me. Obviously, you were wrong and nothing needs to be said!

“What if the person WAS pregnant and they had a miscarriage... just so inappropriate on so many levels to comment on something as sensitive as that. NTA.”

However, someone else went against the grain and said: “You may have your expectations set too high for your sister's behaviour. If it didn't bother your wife (and/or if she's letting it roll off her back) then follow her lead and let it go for now.”

Originally published as My sister told my wife she looks pregnant - she's not