My SIL has a 'screw loose' when it comes to her 4 yo son

"It's why my brother has filed for divorce."

I remember once being bitterly told that I'm "obsessed" with my four-year-old. 

I found that a surprising accusation because was that not literally my job? I mean, the law even tells parents that their kids need to be a daily priority.

Which is why a story on the internet this week grabbed my attention: a woman accusing her SIL of being so obsessed with her own son, that it was destroying her marriage.

Want to join the family? Signup to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this

RELATED: If your kids are in childcare, you can’t call yourself a SAHM

"Literally velcroed to her"

The woman wrote in to an advice column to ask:

"My sister-in-law has a screw loose when it comes to her son. He is nearly 4 and is still Velcroed to his mother’s side 24/7.

"You can’t have an adult conversation with her without him interrupting or demanding her focus, let alone having her leave him for an hour. They sleep together, bathe together, and go to the bathroom together.

"Any time my brother tried to spend time with his son, my SIL basically barked at him to back off. Anyone with eyes could read the writing on the wall, so it was no surprise when he filed for divorce.

"She has now been forced to look for employment but keeps self-sabotaging herself. A family friend offered her a part-time job and she skipped out twice the first week because she couldn’t stand leaving her son in daycare.

"My sister-in-law needs professional help. Can I convince her?"

Image: iStock

RELATED: Dad tells SAHM that she’s been ‘riding on my income’

"Have you met a kid?"

The advice that the poster received began with, "He’s only 4, he interrupts a lot, and wants to go to the bathroom with his mum? Have you met a kid?

"They’ll do this until age 7 or 8 at the very least. I know a lot of kids who are still in bed with their parents at that age.  And starting a kid in daycare can be emotionally rattling, no matter how old they are.

"You weren’t inside the marriage, so you don’t know how, exactly, the situation unfolded when your brother asked to spend time with the kid. Some mum anxiety about leaving kids in the hands of others is pathological, and some is well-founded."

On social media, readers called on the woman to attempt empathy with the SIL, and not automatically side with her brother.

"He might be leaving out details, and just blaming her for the whole situation," one warned.

And another said, "Four is barely even pre-school. Kids are very attached to their mums at that age, and with reason."

Finally, there was this perspective: "You could offer to help your SIL in some practical way, rather than simply blame her entirely for your brother's unhappiness and frustration. I think she needs more support rather than judgement about what you think she's doing right or wrong - based solely on your brother's version of events."

Originally published as My SIL has a 'screw loose' when it comes to her 4 yo son