My mum deleted photos of me at an event because I 'looked fat'

"She messaged me: Why is your face so fat in that photo? She totally deserves what I did next."

3 min read

September 30, 2024 - 2:25PM

Parenting

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"My mum and I get on... we can chat, but she seems to have a mean streak in her towards me," a woman begins a post in an advice forum.

"I'm not the most beautiful person in the world. I think I've blossomed in my 30s more so than my 20s," she continues. "I get more attention now. Not loads. But I seem to get more compliments now and I'm single and I have a handful of men that will contact me to see if I'm interested.

"Anyway yesterday I had a day off and went for a coffee and cake and an autumn walk. Me and my friend were tired so for fun put a filter on...I rarely use them.

"My mum, who knows I needed a mental break, messaged me 'Why is your face so fat on that photo?'"

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"I just don't get her issue"

"She didn't even say anything nice about having a good day or anything," she adds.

"She then snubbed my new profile photo because I made the caption something about being proud of myself."

The poster says this has been the case since she was a teenager, and she's mid-30s now. "Mum calls me a poser. She won't comment or be nice. She deleted photos of me at a family event because I was fat at the time; apparently, my legs looked huge. She accused me of wearing a dress because I loved myself once," she notes.

Image: IStock

"I put approximately six photos of me a year. I'm not particularly a poser or vain."

The woman then concludes her post by saying, "I just don't get her issue", before asking the forum what she should do.

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"She can't control her vile thoughts"

In the comments, people urged the woman not to try to work out her mum's issue but rather block her from all social media platforms instead and put up boundaries.

"Block her from your social media. When she asks why tell her it’s because she can’t control her vile comments," the latest comment read.

"Your mistake is trying to ‘get her issue’. It’s irrelevant why she’s as unpleasant and undermining to you as she is," emphasised a second woman.

"What’s important is the way it lands on you, and what you can do about it. I would block her on social media, and if she asks why, I would tell her it’s because of her lack of self-control.

"In case it helps, my mother absolutely hates female self-confidence in anyone, including her own daughters. She thinks women should communicate solely in terms of self-deprecation and that being on good terms with yourself is 'being full of yourself' and A Bad Thing."

"Ugh. That is just mean OP," empathised another. "Dial down what you tell her and do your best not to take to heart the nasty comments. She’s just trying to put you back in your box. Not sure why. It clearly makes her feel better when she’s batting you down a bit. You sound lovely and I'm sure have a lot to be proud about. If someone needs to put you down like that, it says more about them than it does about you.

"I really would stop telling or showing her things that trigger that response from her, as it’s only messing with your head. Think carefully each time you share something with her - for your own sake, not hers."