My husband won't let our girl play AFL for a confusing reason

In our new column, 'Paul's POV', Aussie dad Paul McKeon advises a frustrated mum whose husband won't let their daughter play AFL. 

A mum asks Kidspot's new dad writer, Paul, for his POV on a major dilemma.

"After years of dance classes, my 12-year-old daughter wants to play AFL. But my husband has put his foot down, citing concerns about it being a contact sport, and all the information that's coming out now about head injuries.

"I won't turn away from evidence and a proper discussion, but our 15-year-old son has been involved in Aus Kick and then playing for school since he was eight. 

"This is a clear double standard, right? Or is it a case of 'once you know better, you do better'? I am really not sure how hard to advocate for my girl."

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'Paul's POV' is Kidspot's dad advice column. Image: Paul McKeon

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"Very conscious of the risks"

Paul's advice:

I try not to tell other parents what to do with their kids so will speak from my own experience as a dad of 11-year-old boy and girl twins, former volunteer coach - and a husband who probably needs to listen to his wife more.

In my experience, kids get immeasurable benefits from playing team sport. You don’t have to think too far back to 2022 when we were all just grateful to have kids out of the house and running around after COVID lockdowns and another rainy autumn.

From what I’ve experienced, AFL as a code is very conscious of the risks of head injury once kids begin to tackle (from U9s, from memory). The AFL organisation itself announced new rules for junior footy at the beginning of this season.

As coaches, we participate in refresher training on concussions each year, at minimum, and the code has clear guidelines designed to reduce the risk of repeat injuries. But we were volunteers, not medical professionals, so our excellent local club paid to have St John Ambulance at junior and senior home games from last year.

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It teaches the value of persistence and teamwork

On the positive side, over the years of coaching I have had the privilege of watching upwards of probably 75 different kids, including girls and boys, learn lessons from footy that are hard to find elsewhere, including the value of persistence and teamwork.

I’ve seen those kids develop strong friendships with footy teammates that complement those they make in school. We’ve had team players from all walks of life and backgrounds.

Often, they realise they have more in common than different.

Yes, it’s a contact sport, but contact can have positive aspects. One of the benefits of playing team sport is that kids learn that sometimes you’re going to get hurt, and that’s okay; you learn to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back into the game.

Paul's POV on what this mum could do

Speaking for myself, if I feel I’ve made my mind up about something, it rarely helps if my wife is actively trying to change my mind.

I’m more likely to dig my heels in.

But I’m given time to reflect on something, I might listen to what other parents I trust say. My son played AFL, his twin sister did not, but among my parent group there are many people whose daughters play our national game and love it.

With one friend in particular, let’s call him Dan, when I’m wondering what’s the right or wrong approach to something, I’ll often ask myself "What would Dan do?"

In this case, I’m pretty certain that if I asked if he thought it was a good idea to stop my daughter from playing AFL, he’d look at me, raise a quizzical eyebrow and say “Come on, mate”; his way of reminding me some risks are worth taking.

Originally published as My husband won't let our girl play AFL for a confusing reason