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My husband won't let our daughter call him 'daddy' and I don't know why

"I have absolutely no idea what to think of it and how to respond. Where do I even begin with all of this?" the desperate mum asks. 

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A mum has this week shared a dilemma with her husband of nine years, who is vehemently against being called "daddy" by their daughter.

"Our daughter started speaking and calling me 'mama' and my husband a mix of 'dada' and 'daddy'," she begins in an online post.

"Throughout the process of her learning and beginning to speak (mainly at 12 months old), I would point and refer to my husband as 'daddy'."

It seemed like a natural thing to do, but the woman explains she wasn't sure her husband was on board with the name.

"My husband would always give me what I thought was a dirty look when I would do that, but he never directly said anything, so I just assumed I was overthinking it," she writes. 

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"It makes him uncomfortable"

The mum continues: "Recently, our daughter has been more consistently referring to him as 'daddy', and he flat out told me that it makes him uncomfortable, and (his exact words) 'wished' I had 'used more appropriate language when teaching her to speak'."

She ends her post asking for help, "Now he has directly told me, and I have absolutely no idea what to think of it and how to respond. Where do I even begin with all of this?"

Instantly, people jumped into the comments to wave their red flags. They were wondering how this father could sexualise 'daddy' when it's coming from his daughter. 

"I’m a little embarrassed for the guy that the word daddy is so sexualised in his mind that his own baby daughter calling him Daddy feels inappropriate and makes him uncomfortable. I hate to think of what else is going to come up down the road," one wrote. 

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"Call him Sir"

The top comment after that read, "Baby gonna roll round the house calling him sir... or father."

Another added: "I can't think of anything more appropriate for an 18mo to call her father than Daddy! I think your husband doesn't realise he's the one who's made the word weird in his own mind. How embarrassing."

Many questioned if the parents' language in the bedroom was to blame. While others were concerned that dad might be watching too much porn. 

"Do you call him daddy in the bedroom? That's the only reason I can think of why he dislikes it," one openly asked. 

Image: iStock
Image: iStock

The OP promptly replied, "Not really, and even when I did, it wasn't often, nor was it like our "special" word or anything. But it's just weird that he would even think it was a sexual term when OUR DAUGHTER is using it."

An adult daughter weighed in: "I am 35, and my dad is Daddy. Always has been, always will be. Your husband is the one sexualising his daughter.

"If he's having a cow over this, wait until she's stringing sentences together that sound insane. Is he going to blame you for that, too?"

Another commenter agreed, writing, "Yeah, it’s a him problem, not a you or your daughter's problem," a concerned mother wrote. "If he can’t separate his porn addiction 'daddy' issues from his family then it’s beyond bad. One word, therapy."

Originally published as My husband won't let our daughter call him 'daddy' and I don't know why

Original URL: https://www.themercury.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/my-husband-wont-let-our-daughter-call-him-daddy-and-i-dont-know-why/news-story/b0f5e257cb267ba66215889a5f55fbf9