My girl was invited to a birthday party, but not the sleepover afterwards

"She found out on the night that she was the only one not staying, the only one going home."

2 min read

September 13, 2024 - 3:17PM

Parenting

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Most of us can recall the childhood brutality of knowing everyone's been invited to a social event, like a birthday party, but not you.

But sometimes, rejection can still happen even if you are invited.

One mum this week has shared her daughter's heartbreak at being told at a birthday party that everyone but her was staying for a sleepover.

She was the only one going home that night. Harsh.

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"Why do people do this?"

The upset mum asked a parenting forum if she was unreasonable to wonder why people do parties with sleepovers but invite some kids to different bits?

She wrote: "[My daughter] 11, was invited to a party yesterday at a kids house - there were 10 kids and she found out at the party that she was the only one not staying on for the sleepover bit. She was so upset.

"Why do people do this? I think she would have preferred to not be invited to any of it rather than be invited to a bit of it and then go home when everyone else was staying.

"It would have been better if she wasn’t bloody invited to any of it!!"

Image: iStock

"Leaving out one isn't nice"

Parents in the forum could understand if space could be a factor in the decision-making of the host, but agreed that leaving one child out could form a core childhood memory for the girl.

"Totally agree, horrible feeling. So weird only to leave one child out. Your poor DD," wrote one.

"It's mean to have just one child not staying on for the sleepover. But I think it's quite normal to have a big party and then a small number staying for a sleepover afterwards," agreed another.

This mum said, "It's pretty normal to have say 20 for a party and a few besties stay over, but to leave just one out isn’t nice."

This mum was more direct, writing, "Oh come on. As the responsible adult in this situation, you then explain why it’s a horrible thing to leave one child out so instead of 10 sleeping only five are so one girl doesn’t go home and cry about it. You’d really do that would you? Heartless."

Another parent also thought the party girl's mum had been unreasonable: "Oh give over. Most people would either squeeze in the extra one, not have the sleepover part or invite a smaller number so not just one is left out.

"OP, I agree, what an awful moment when you pick her up and all the others wave her goodbye and carry on with the party."

To this, the poster replied, "She’s the only one that had to go home. Bloody horrible."

This mum asked a question many were thinking: "But why invite her at all? It’s just worse for her. She’d rather not have gone at all to the party."

To which one replied, "Because presumably the birthday child likes her and wanted her there at the party, but her parents stipulated whatever number as the absolute maximum could be accommodated overnight?"