‘My daughter is jealous of the special needs kid in her class’
“She doesn’t understand how this girl can ‘misbehave’ and still be rewarded… I don’t know how to explain it to her,” the mum says.
Primary School
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When a child has special needs or is neurodiverse, the classroom can be a tough place.
Good teachers make accommodations for those kids – extra time on tests, help getting started with assignments, break time away from the noise and overwhelming environment.
My son is neurodiverse and gets drawing breaks when he completes a chunk of his work.
And in the past, some kids have been jealous: why does he get to draw when everyone else has to work?
I can see their point, it doesn’t seem fair. But if those kids knew how hard he works just to just turn up and sit through class, they might see how he needs drawing breaks.
Christie’s* daughter Serena is in Year 3 and has a special needs child in her class, and Serena is jealous of the concessions the girl gets.
“The child gets to have toys out at all times and gets extra attention,” Christie explained in a Reddit post.
“There’s also drawings in class for prizes and this girl wins almost every time.
“My daughter is very angry and jealous.”
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Girl jealous of special needs kid at school
As far as Serena is concerned, the girl gets rewarded all the time, but isn’t held up to the same standards as everyone else.
“She doesn’t understand how this other girl can misbehave, yet still be rewarded.”
Christie didn’t know to talk to Serena about the issue. “I can totally understand why this seems unfair to a child.”
The Reddit community was helpful, offering suggestions for how to explain what was going on.
“This is tough,” one person wrote. “Have you talked to the teacher? I understand her having toys on the desk and available, but I'm having a hard time understanding the rest. It's relatively easy to explain that some people need extra help and the toys give them extra help.”
Another person suggested introducing the concept of developmental delay so that Serena could understand that the girl was still working on things Serena had already mastered.
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“I’m sure she’s noticed mums clap and smile and say, ‘Great job!’ when babies kick their legs, or grab a rattle off a table, or stack a single big block on another,” they said. “No one is clapping and yelling when your daughter picks up something off a table as a Year 3.
“But you used to. Some people with special needs have development delays in their brain which means the way they relate to the world is similar to someone much younger.”`
*Names have been changed
Originally published as ‘My daughter is jealous of the special needs kid in her class’
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