Mum's beautiful approach to sending neurodivergent son to school camp

“I’ve realised I’m grieving more than he’s grieving because he’s happy not to go." 

The nervous excitement. The overpacked bag. The stifled late-night cabin giggles past curfew.

School camp is a rite of passage. It’s one many parents can’t wait for their child to experience.

But for Melbourne mum Jana, it was never going to be that simple.

“It’s one of those things that you want your kid to go on, because you know how much fun it’s going to be,” Jana told Kidspot.

Jana's son wasn't so keen on school camp at first. Image: Supplied

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"It's such a big thing"

However, her son, a bright Year 3 student, wasn’t just dreading camp. He was adamant he wouldn’t go.

“I never push him to do anything,” Jana said.

“Especially something that big.”

The youngster is just nine years old, and lives with ADHD and ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). A much as Jana wanted him to experience the joy, independence and lifelong memories that school camp can bring, she knew better than to force it.

 “Even if you're not neurodivergent, like, it's such a big thing,” she said.

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Then, he surprised everyone. He decided he did want to go. So they made preparations. 

 “We just followed his lead,” she explained. 

The two-day camp was only an hour from home, so Jana decided the best approach was to drive him there for the day and bring him home that night. Depending on how he went, she planned to return again for day two.

She says the teachers were phenomenal in catering to his needs.

“They are quite accommodating,” she shared. 

“They would rather have him there in any way we can than not have him.” 

"We got about halfway there and then it was just too much"

Jana ensured there were extra clothes and the teachers even put a room aside, in preparation for any change of mind. 

“Look, being away from home is a big one,” she said.

“Being in a new place that you’ve not been before… like being out of our comfort zone.” 

After making the journey home, the next morning they got up again, prepared to head back for another day of fun.

“He was really excited,” Jana said.

“Then we got about halfway there and then it was just too much. So, we came home." 

Jana respected his decision and turned the car around. But it came with a wave of emotion.

“I’ve realised I’m grieving more than he’s grieving, because he’s happy not to go,” she said. 

“I want him there… but he didn’t want to be there. And that’s okay.” 

Jana knows that her son has gained something valuable from the experience. Image: Supplied

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“It’s a highlight that he is going" 

Even without staying the night, Jana knows he walked away with something important. A sense of belonging, and the pride of showing up on his own terms.

“I think he felt pretty proud of himself for getting there as well,” Jana said.

“I know that all the teachers and all his friends were really proud that he even made it down there.”

You might ask: but isn’t all this inconvenient? Jana has one answer: “For me, no way, José!” 

“It’s a highlight that he is going. It’s exciting for us to get to go and see him in camp.”

Now that he’s had a taste, Jana is hopeful he’ll be open to experiencing more when the next camp comes.

“We’ll just follow his lead again,” she said. 

“Whatever he’s comfortable with, we’ll work with that.”

The best parents move mountains for their children without breaking a sweat. Jana does it with grace... and a packed overnight bag, just in case.

Originally published as Mum's beautiful approach to sending neurodivergent son to school camp