Mum Googles daughter's BFF's dad and has an anxiety attack

"Freaking out right now... some of the claims made against him are really upsetting."

A mum has been left wondering if 'ignorance is bliss' after she Googles the father of her daughter's friend... and is disturbed by what she finds.

So much so that she says the information has given her an "anxiety attack."

Overwhelmed by her fears, she's turned to an online parenting group to ask what her next steps should be.

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"He has a lengthy criminal history"

She writes in a group for parents of tweens: 

"My daughter made friends with a girl at school and we have been hanging out together frequently for a couple of years now.

"I randomly Googled the dad's name just now and learned he has a lengthy history of DUI, drug dealing, violent crime, stalking, etc. and some of the claims made against him are really upsetting.

"I have left my daughter alone with this family (just one time during an emergency) and I'm beating myself up over it. I thought I shouldn't Google kids' parents because it's 'creepy' but now I'm having an anxiety attack and I feel like I've failed my daughter.

"We have future plans with this family and I don't know what to do.

"Do I spread word to other parents in the same circles? I wish someone had warned me but it's a small community and I don't want drama and I don't want parents worried that I'm going to stalk them online or anything."

She adds that the most recent activities seem to be five years ago, and his alcohol intake has always made her uncomfortable.

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"No one wanted to hang out with me"

Hundreds of parents gave the mum their opinions, but a poignant post (and the most liked one) shared a perspective no-one was prepared for.

"I’m the girl with a dad with a rap sheet. Not this specific girl but I was one of those girls.

"No one wanted to hang out with me because their parents wouldn’t let them around me. It made me an outcast.

"Be more wary around them but don’t make other people remove her from their kid's circles."

It prompted many others to share similar experiences, such as this person who wrote: "Girl, I feel this. I remember the only girl who was nice to me in fourth grade telling me that her mum didn’t want me coming over on Tuesdays anymore and saying she didn’t know why. It still makes my grown ass cry sometimes."

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Parents also urged the mum to verify the dad's identity, and to consider the implications of ending the friendship.

"I wouldn't throw away a couple years friendship without an open conversation," one said, for example.

But then, there were also those who urged caution, such as this woman: "Growing up I had friends whose parents were alcoholics and drug users. They would frequently party with us and supply our parties.

'They would even talk to my mum on the phone to tell her we were good and just watching movies. We were like 13/14/15 yrs old.

"Looking back on my teenage years as a parent, I will always be vetting my son’s friends' parents."

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Originally published as Mum Googles daughter's BFF's dad and has an anxiety attack