Kristy-lea's pregnancy was textbook. But she left hospital heartbroken
“He looked exactly like you would expect a baby to look at full term, except he wasn’t alive and he didn’t take a breath when he was born.”
“He looked exactly like you would expect a baby to look at full term, except he wasn't alive and he didn't take a breath when he was born,” the Melbourne mum told Kidspot.
Parker’s heart had already stopped before Kristy-Lea was even told to push.
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"They couldn't find his heartbeat"
Kristy-Lea’s pregnancy had been textbook.
“I had a blissfully unaware, uneventful pregnancy with Parker,” she said.
She and her husband had fallen pregnant in early 2021 and, like so many families after COVID, were excitedly realigning their plans to expand their family.
By the end of her pregnancy, she was full term, patiently counting down the days until she’d meet her baby boy. But when early labour started, Kristy-Lea noticed Parker’s movements had slowed.
“I was connected to him in pregnancy and felt his movements consistently the whole time. So no red flags up until this point,” she explained.
Trusting her instincts, she went to the hospital to check. That’s when doctors confirmed her worst fear.
“They couldn’t find his heartbeat… then they brought in an ultrasound and confirmed that his heart had stopped,” she recounted.
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Over the course of 24 hours, she endured the physical challenge of childbirth alongside the crushing knowledge that she wouldn’t be taking her baby home.
“I was having contractions… going through a tremendous amount of pain for not an outcome that you expect to be on the other side,” she said.
“It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. You go through everything you’ve been told about labour, that it’s tough, that it’s painful, but usually you get this blissful baby at the end. We never got to experience that.”
And tragically, Kristy-Lea is not alone.
Every year in Australia, around 2,000 babies are stillborn. That’s six families each day who go through the same heartbreak of preparing for life with their child, only to leave the hospital with empty arms.
Despite Australia having one of the safest maternity systems in the world, stillbirth rates here have not shifted in more than 20 years.
“There’s such a gap between understanding, information and the research that needs to be done. What hasn’t actually changed is the research and the effort from the medical bodies. Why is that not the red flag?” she said.
"He never got to have a voice"
Parker’s legacy is behind the movement to change that. His story is now a push for national change.
“He would have been four this year. He never got to have a voice. So it’s my job to give him one,” she said.
Kristy-Lea has joined 29 other bereaved parents in the Louder Together campaign. A searing video and petition calling on the Federal Government to fund a unified, national stillbirth awareness and prevention strategy.
The petition, which needs 100,000 signatures to be tabled in Parliament, is open until Sunday, September 21.
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“We don’t want to see six babies die every day. If that number can be reduced in any way, that’s less families who have to experience this pain.”
For Kristy-Lea, speaking about Parker is painful, but it’s important: “I feel incredible pride to be able to share his story, our story, but it has to ultimately make change.”
It’s why she and other grieving parents are raising their voices.
Determined that fewer families will ever have to leave the hospital with empty arms.
You can sign Louder Together's ePetition for a national Stillbirth Awareness Campaign here.
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Originally published as Kristy-lea's pregnancy was textbook. But she left hospital heartbroken
