'It's inappropriate': I refuse to let my daughter wear clothes my family sent her

"I'm not putting my daughter in something to make other people happy."

When it comes to gifts for newborns, some items can be exactly what you want and need, while others are just dust collectors. 

But do the givers of said gifts ever track whether or not you're actually using them? This is the problem one mum faces after being chastised by her family for not dressing her daughter in the clothes they've sent her. 

"I only dress her in clothes appropriate for a baby, i.e., no crop top, bikini, or anything that looks inappropriate for a child to wear. I also don't put her in stuff with sexist or weird phrases, like" daddy said no dating" or" mummy's personal headache." I don't like those," the mother writes. 

Before her daughter was born, she had informed the family about her "thoughts and beliefs about dressing babies in 'baby clothes'," but that didn't stop family members from pushing the boundaries. 

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One mother has upset her family, her baby wasn't wearing a bikini. Source: iStock

"I'm not putting my daughter in something I hate"

"It was brought to my attention that I hurt feelings when I took my baby to a pool party in a swimsuit I bought my daughter, not the bikini. The swimsuit I bought has sleeves.

"Several people were thinking that they would see my baby's rolls (she is very chubby) in the bikini and were disappointed that she showed up in the long sleeves," the mother shares. 

Despite her concerns for sun protection, the family pointed out that it wasn't just about the bikini. They had been paying close attention to the baby's fashion choices, and their items were not approved. 

"I pointed out that I have been very open about my thoughts on baby clothes, and I'm not putting my daughter in something I hate to make other people happy. I was told it was rude and ungrateful that I didn't put her in the stuff when she came to see the family. They bought it and want to see her in it. I said she is my baby and not there's I will put her in clothes that her dad and myself approve of." 

She ended her post wondering if she was the a**hole.

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"It’s not sexualising a baby to put her in a short dress"

The mother received thousands of messages of support. 

"You dress your baby in appropriate clothes and avoid items you dislike. The family got upset when you didn't use their gifts, but you prioritise your child's comfort and safety. You’ve been clear about your preferences, so you’re not wrong for sticking to them," the top commenter wrote. 

While this mother agreed with the OP about the swimmers, she had some thoughts about the other fashion choices, "She’s a baby in a nappy. It’s not sexualising a baby to put her in a short dress. Most have nappy covers. Or you can buy shorts. I have two daughters who are now 14 and 16, so I’ve run the gamut on finding appropriate clothing, but the dresses aren’t such a big deal until they stop wearing shorts or leggings underneath."

"Mum and dad choose clothing, not family and friends," another said. 

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"Do what you feel is best"

Another person offered this advice:

"I was the same way, for the most part, with my baby girl! My daughter is elementary school-aged now, and I still get angry shopping for bathing suits because of all the cutouts and the too-adult-like styles. I got into a couple of strongly worded arguments with people over not putting my kid in certain things.

"Sometimes, I would put her in an outfit once she was home, snap a picture for whoever bought the outfit, and then put it into a donate bag. Don’t let anyone stop you from doing what you feel is best for your babe."

The mother then replied, "My husband suggested we take a picture. The over-the-top outfits we use for monthly pictures will then be donated."

Originally published as 'It's inappropriate': I refuse to let my daughter wear clothes my family sent her