I'm not a 'Boy Mum' just because I have a son - it's a ridiculous term

"I don't love my son just because he's 'a boy'. And I don't define myself by his gender - that sounds stupid to me."

The concept of a 'Boy Mum' has gone viral online, and people can't stop talking about it.

This is especially since an influencer, Avery Woods, was torn to shreds last month for identifying as one.

The backlash against her extreme Boy Mum take was swift, intense and eventually saw her remove the video altogether. Then the controversy opened about an explosive conversation about the term.

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What is a boy mum?

In the now-deleted video - parts of which are still available all over TikTok - Avery took the concept of being a 'Boy Mum' beyond how most people understand it.

There's no doubt that the term is popular. 'Boy mum' has been used for years on social media to describe a woman who is mum to a boy, whose parenting and enjoyment are typically gender-specific.

The hashtag #BoyMom has more than 18 million posts on Tiktok - despite being viewed by many as being part of the problem of toxic masculinity by celebrating traditional views of what it means to be a 'boy' or 'man'.

Boy Mums are proud of being mums to sons - and take particular enjoyment in loving them for stereotypical things like how dirty/sweaty/noisy/busy they are (as if girls aren't like that too). 

But upon seeing Avery's clip, even they couldn't agree with her extremist views.

The influencer and podcast host with more than two million followers on TikTok, posted a video in which she proclaimed how being a Boy Mum was her greatest delight - even over being a mother to her daughter.

The clip shows her sitting in her car after receiving her son's recent school photos.

"My boy mums feel me on this, but my son has my heart. My heart and my soul."

She adds that she is "obsessed" with her daughter...  "But my whole life I always wanted to be a boy mum." Then she shows the camera several photos of her son.

Viewers were quick to express their disgust about her public declaration of not being equally as invested in both children, simply based on their gender. They were also worried that Avery's daughter would now one day learn of her mum's attitude.

The video was deleted, but not before Avery was brutally trolled for stating a preference - and for even calling herself a Boy Mum in the first place.

Image: TikTok/Nama Winston

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Don't ever call me a Boy Mum

Amongst the thousands of responses, I agreed with this one the most: "I have two daughters and one son. I'm not a boy mom. I'm not a girl mom. I'm a mom. I love them all equally.

[Avery's] daughter is gonna go no contact one day for sure."

Quite frankly, I think the term is ridiculous. And unnecessary... and small-minded.

I have one son, who's the best thing that's ever happened to me, my greatest achievement and the goddamn love of my life. I am supremely confident that if he were born or girl, or identified as one, I'd feel exactly the same way.

Because I am absolutely not a Boy Mum - I'm a mum. I'm a parent. In the same way if he were a girl, our relationship is one of parent and kid. I don't need to rely on silly stereotypes to define it.

My living room floor has been strewn with LEGO too many times to count, and I have a child's bedroom in my home that's always messy - and once, again, I presume this would have been the case all these years regardless of anyone's gender. 

I don't love my son just because he's 'a boy' in the stereotypical sense. And I don't define myself by his gender - that sounds stupid to me. As stupid as going online to declare a preference of a one of your own offspring, based on gender.

But then again, I guess that's why Avery's a successful influencer, and I'm not. I don't need to be a Boy Mum for clicks.

What did you think of the term 'Boy Mum'? Tell us in the comments on Facebook!

Originally published as I'm not a 'Boy Mum' just because I have a son - it's a ridiculous term