I won't attend my brother's kid-free wedding, I don't want to get a babysitter

The brother has now accused his sister of punishing him for having a childfree guest list and said, "Sorry the world doesn't revolve around your kid."

Eleanor Katelaris

3 min read

June 30, 2023 - 2:18PM

Parenting

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A woman has taken to a popular forum to discuss the controversy over whether or not she’ll be attending her brother’s childfree wedding.

The post starts by explaining that the woman’s younger brother is set to tie the knot with his fiancée in just two weeks' time.

As a couple, they have made the conscious decision to have a child-free wedding, which is entirely within their rights.

However, the issue arises when the poster explains her reservations about attending are due to her two-year-old daughter's recent epilepsy diagnosis.

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'Sorry the world doesn't revolve around your kid'

“As much as it hurts I don't think I am going to be attending,” she writes.

“My daughter has recently been diagnosed with epilepsy, which I have also dealt with most of my life so I know this gets worse before it gets better.

“We are going through tests, medication changes, etc... The venue is over three hours away and I am completely uncomfortable leaving her for that long.”

She also adds that her husband will be away on a work trip at the time of the wedding, so won’t be able to stay home with their daughter.

Understandably, she prioritises her daughter’s wellbeing and tells her brother that she simply can’t hire a babysitter given the circumstances.

Enter: the brother’s response, filled with guilt-tripping and plenty of accusations.

“He was hurt, and said that I am punishing them for having a childfree wedding and they are entitled to do so. I said he is absolutely entitled to do so, but they gave little notice and he can't get mad when people put their children first, especially when they are dealing with medical issues,” she said.

“He said I should just get a sitter and I told him absolutely not, I am not comfortable doing that with everything going on. He said I was being an asshole and ‘Sorry the world doesn't revolve around your kid’.”

Image: IStock

'Part of having a child-free wedding is accepting some family members won't be able to attend.'

Readers were left in shock after reading the woman’s story and unanimously supported her in the comments.

Many users reminded the woman of her brother’s biased priorities. “NTA. Tell your brother the world doesn't revolve around his shot-gun wedding,” the top comment read.

Another person wrote: “OP’s world does revolve around her daughter, and rightfully so.”

“Two weeks is a ridiculous amount of warning time, child issue or not,” remarked another.

Then someone else wrote: “This is not a case of you just not wanting to bother with a sitter. Your child has seizures for crying out loud! To top it off, it's not well managed yet and she's not old enough to tell anyone when she thinks she might be about to have one.

“Part of having a child-free wedding is accepting the fact that some family members won't be able to attend. If they can't accept that, that's their problem, not yours. Take care of your baby girl and tell your brother and soon-to-be SIL that you're not risking your child's health to satisfy them.”

'You can't make demands of people and then be mad they can't comply'

Another echoed: “People have the right to a child-free wedding, but the flip side is that they have to understand that people may not be able to come. You can't make demands and then be mad that people can't comply.”

Finally, this comment concluded: “Your two-year-old needs you physically more than your brother needs you. They can stream it and you can attend it virtually, but I think you being responsible and wanting to be there for your daughter in case anything happens triumphs over everything else.”