I want to leave my 11yo to babysit my 8yo and 6yo while I'm at yoga

One commenter told the mum, "Hire a nanny. Children shouldn't be responsible for children because if anything happens in her care she will bear that her whole life."

A woman recently stirred discussion in the Melbourne Mums Facebook group after she floated the idea of leaving her 11-year-old daughter in charge of her younger siblings while she attends a night yoga class.

She rationalises that her daughter is "mature, independent and trustworthy" but many parents in the comments thought it was still too young and she should explore other options. 

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"I don't know if it's too much"

The anonymous woman, who is a single mum of three who works full time, asked: "Would you leave your mature/independent /trustworthy 11.5-year-old daughter to babysit her siblings who are eight and six so you can do a yoga class?"

She explained that the classes were at eight o'clock, between one-and-a-half to two hours long and were seven minutes from their home. 

"My daughter says it’s fine but I don’t know if one-and-a-half to two hours long is too much," she concluded. 

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The nanny debate

Some parents vehemently opposed the idea, emphasising that kids shouldn't have to look after other kids.

"No. Hire a nanny," the top comment read. "Children shouldn't be responsible for children. If anything happens in her care she will bear that her whole life."

The OP replied, "I can't afford a nanny, unfortunately, otherwise that would be ideal."

Then someone else replied to her saying, "You can't afford a nanny but can afford yoga?... Ok."

Then the OP clapped back again and wrote, "Big difference in having to pay for a nanny for three kids when they have a minimum of three hours which would be at the very least $105 compared to a $15 yoga class."

"It's not a risk I'd be willing to take"

Others pointed out the potential consequences of something going wrong. "Nope no way!" one said. "She may be 'mature' but what happens if there’s a fire, one of them gets hurt or someone breaks in? It may be a small chance that any of it would happen, but that’s not a risk I’d be willing to take."

Another shared, "There are so many risky scenarios, I would just go with your gut on this - if it feels risky, don't do it."

"I’m sorry but it’s a no from me too," chimed in a third. "I don’t think a yoga class is important enough to have to leave them. At that age, I don’t think I’d leave them full stop."

On the other hand, people said 'It's your choice'

Meanwhile, some commenters encouraged the mum to let her 11-year-old babysit.

"Look I get all these other mums are saying no but if you feel like she can, then that's your choice. My 12-year-old looks after her younger siblings for short periods of time. I place very firm rules on the children also. I call every 20 minutes to check in," said one mum.

Another revealed, "I would have no issue leaving for that amount of time, especially if you know your daughter well and that she is independent enough. I know I was staying home alone or with my sibling at around eight with no problems - we knew not to answer the door or use the stove and to just have snacks and if we needed to speak to mum, we would simply call her at work."

"Just talk through scenarios with her and her siblings and make sure they know how to respond. Giving kids responsibility builds self-esteem and resilience."

"I feel like the lack of responsibility our children have is setting them up to fail"

Then one mum suggested this approach: "Why don't you trial run it first? Say you pop out for 10 to 15-minute intervals? One day you leave for ten, do that for a few days then increase your time out. Then when you've done the intervals and everything else, go do a class and see how things went. You could leave the younger siblings with snacks and a movie as most kids' movies run for the same time you'll be out."

And finally, this mum didn't mince her words and said, "I feel like I’m reading a 'How to raise the next generation of wussy’s for dummies' guide in these comments. I’m having a good giggle reading the extravagant scenarios.

"I feel like the lack of responsibility our children have is setting them up to fail. Yes, you could have a house fire and yes an alien spacecraft could land in your backyard and abduct your three kids…

"You asked your daughter she said yes- go enjoy your yoga."

Originally published as I want to leave my 11yo to babysit my 8yo and 6yo while I'm at yoga