'I knew something wasn't right': Mum discovers 'friend' in bathroom with 6yo

"I would never in a million years do this with someone else’s child."

A few months ago, I asked my mother-in-law to babysit my kids while I worked.

I’d only done a couple of hours of work when I got this uneasy feeling and wanted to pick up my kids. I don’t know if you’d call it a mother’s instinct or what, but I just felt like I needed to collect them.

When I walked into my MIL’s house and asked where my six-year-old daughter was, she replied casually, "she's in the bath with *Amanda. They've been swimming in the pool all morning."

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"I felt sick to my stomach"

At first, when my MIL said they were in the bath, I didn’t get upset because I assumed they’d still have their swimwear on. In fact, when I walked into the bathroom, I didn't even knock. 

As I opened the door, the family friend, who is in her 40s, was standing there with a towel wrapped around her naked body. My daughter, meanwhile, was still in the shower without clothes on.

I was momentarily stunned. Literally, to the core, stunned.

“What are you doing?” I finally stammered.

“Oh, we just got out of the pool and so we jumped in the shower,” Amanda replied.

I stood there frozen looking at her, then down at my daughter. I felt sick to my stomach. 

“Come on, honey, time to jump out,” I said to my daughter, and quickly wrapped her in a towel. 

I was so angry and upset, my hands were shaking as I helped her put her clothes on. My little girl seemed completely fine and was unaware of how I was feeling.

Image: iStock

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"I would never in a million years do this"

After we left, I told my husband about it. He said the friend’s behaviour was “a bit off,” but he thought I was overreacting. 

But the more I thought about it, the angrier I became.

I would never ever in a million years get in the shower with someone else’s child. Not even my own nieces.

I asked my two best friends their opinion and they both said that the behaviour was completely unacceptable.

The fact that this family friend, who I also valued as a friend, thought that it was okay to get in the shower with a kid naked, honestly blows my mind.

I don’t for a second think that she’s a paedophile, but it’s still inappropriate and wrong. It's too familiar, too intimate.

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After the incident, I spoke to my daughter and gently asked her what had happened. She said that they’d just jumped in the shower to rinse off after a swim.

I explained to her that her body is her own and that she has the right to privacy, and that no one should shower with her. Full fucking stop. We talked more about personal boundaries, too, and about trusting your gut if something feels off.

I’ve only seen that family friend once since then and it is very awkward between us. I know that if I value her friendship, I would need to sit her down and explain some basic boundaries.

But the fact that I have to shows I really don't know her at all.

* Names have been changed for privacy reasons.

Originally published as 'I knew something wasn't right': Mum discovers 'friend' in bathroom with 6yo