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I have to wake up my wife when she needs to get the baby

Plot twist: he's not even there when his son is awake ... so how does he know? Would you be ok with your husband doing this?

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When you become a parent, many little luxuries from your kid-free life disappear, such as sleeping in and having a slow or uninterrupted morning routine.

This is a lesson one dad wishes his wife accepted - because he does not approve of how she runs her day with their almost two-year-old.

Lamenting in an online post, he says that when he's at work, "I always check in on my son remotely via our nursery cam app. This morning when I checked, it was 9:12. After that, every time I looked, he was awake in the dark and standing in his cot just waiting."

"I immediately turn on the brightest night light the camera has and speak to him through the app. I always tell him good morning and that I love him, and he usually laughs and says, 'Dada'. Then I phone my wife to get up."

The father shares that he usually calls three or four times before his wife answers - and he assumes that's because she's asleep. 

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"I tell her how to be a mum"

This particular morning, the encouragement to get up escalated into a fight when the father, while on his 12-hour shift,

One morning, he asked her if she was getting their toddler up after she used the bathroom. She told him she would make breakfast before getting the child out of his cot. 

" I asked her to get him after the bathroom so he could go to the kitchen with her, and she flipped out. She told me it pisses her off that I call EVERY morning to tell her how to be a mum and that she has a routine.

"I retorted with, 'Well, your routine sucks because he's been awake for an hour, and you'd still be asleep if I hadn't called'."

He wrote that it "bothers" him that their baby has to wait for his mum to wake up and get him, and that he most likely needs his diaper changed, is hungry, thirsty, or wants to play. The man then asked if he was wrong for his actions.

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"That's not cool" 

Some defended the man for calling his wife every morning, while others called him out for micromanaging her.

One commenter wrote, "Leaving a child wet, hungry and thirsty in his cot for an hour or more isn't the right thing to do."

Another agreed, “She leaves him in the cot awake for hours in the morning. That’s not cool. I couldn’t watch that as the other parent either.”

"I’d kill for my baby’s dad to have ever wanted to be this involved in my child’s well-being," a third parent added.

Mother sleeps while her toddler has been awake for an hour. Source: iStock
Mother sleeps while her toddler has been awake for an hour. Source: iStock

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"It's good for kids to learn to entertain themselves"

Some parents thought that there was no harm in leaving a child safely in their cot after they've woken up. 

"I was taught to stay in my cot and play with toys until my mum got up. I'm no worse for wear, and I can tell you my mother is anything but negligent and never has been. It's good for kids to learn to entertain themselves," one wrote, and many commenters agreed. 

Responding to some comments, the poster further clarified that his wife suffers from postpartum depression and chronic fatigue, which could be a factor in not getting their baby earlier. 

“My wife is an amazing woman and an amazing mother," he added. "My son is just so happy all the time. He's super smart, full of energy, and extremely healthy. Nothing is wrong with what my wife does during the day; I wish she'd start her day earlier for my little man."

Originally published as I have to wake up my wife when she needs to get the baby

Original URL: https://www.themercury.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/i-have-to-wake-up-my-wife-when-she-needs-to-get-the-baby/news-story/c63398bbb0f14e67424db0ffe612e6cf